[NoHo Arts District, CA] – In this month’s Soaring Solo blog, Jessica Lynn Johnson discusses “Nonviolent Communication in Solo Theatre.” Discover how observation, feelings, needs, and requests can help solo artists connect with audiences through empathy instead of judgment.
“Nonviolence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Have you ever been to a solo show where you felt like the solo artist was annihilating you with their words and ripping you apart with their self righteousness?
Did you leave the theatre feeling inspired to reflect upon your shortcomings and mistakes as a member of society? Were you filled with motivation to course correct and start seeing the world around you from a different perspective?
Hell no.
More than likely, you decided that you did not particularly like them or their solo show and had better things to do with your time, like stare at the glowing exit sign for the next 60 minutes while repeatedly checking your iPhone to see when this involuntary character assassination was going to be over.
This reaction doesn’t make you a jerk who doesn’t care about societal issues, social injustices or your own personal places of privilege.
It simply makes you a normal human being who puts up a protective wall when someone is proselytizing or attacking you.
Most people get defensive the second that they feel chastised or preached at. Even if the person ranting at us is 100% accurate in their assessment of our failures and flaws, we will still cross our arms, stick up our noses and tune them out in protest.
Now, hear me clearly. I am a huge advocate of artivism. It is not our job as solo artists to be people pleasers and codependently try to say all of the right things and play it safe so that our audience stays comfortable. As performers and writers, we are provocateurs and changemakers. We also hold an incredible amount of power when someone joins us for an hour in a blackbox theatre, gives us their undivided attention and welcomes us to share our point of view with them.
Learning how to properly wield that power and understand the impact of our tone and our truth is a crucial level of awareness for a solo artist to possess.
That being said, how are you going to inspire change or deep introspection if your audience zones out after the first passionate insult you hurl at them?
It truly doesn’t matter how justified you are and how correct your stance is. As a solo artist, you must ask yourself what sort of an impact you wish to have with your solo show. Remember that the person sitting in front of you is merely human and they have their own baggage and beliefs. If your goal is to reach their heart, mind and spirit, and perhaps entice them to take action, then you must consider if the way that you are conveying your message achieves your intended outcome.
This is where Nonviolent Communication (NVC) comes in.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with NVC, it is a practical framework of communication that was created by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg in the 1960’s. NVC centers around four key components: observation, feelings, needs, and requests.
It focuses on compassionate dialogue, self-awareness, and resolving conflict without blame.
In this month’s blog, we are going to explore how the four elements of NVC can help to guide the delivery of our message as solo artists. We will examine what NVC can teach us about reaching our audience in a way that prizes connection over judgement, elicits empathy and shares power.
Let’s jump in!
- Observation
NVC asks you to state the concrete facts of what you see or hear without adding judgment, blame, or evaluation.
When we share our lived experience, no one can really argue with that because it is our truth. We can simply state the facts of what happened to us and what we have experienced out in the world.
Another means of applying factual information in your solo show is to present statistical and analytical information. This matter-of-fact approach enables people to absorb evidence as neutral observers rather than feeling the weight of guilt or shame which may cause them to turn a blind eye.
For example, you can share the outcome of a particular election and the statistical information surrounding those results.
- Feeling
NVC invites you to name your true emotional state rather than a hidden thought or accusation.
After you have shared facts with the audience, you can then express how it made you feel. Feelings are not accusations. For instance, saying “I feel like everyone who voted differently than me is a selfish hypocrite” is not vulnerably sharing your feelings.
You are instead accusing and name calling.
It is quite different to say, “The election results broke my heart. I felt depressed, hopeless and truly afraid.” This approach may stir up sympathy and curiosity from someone who voted differently than you and they may feel safe enough to come up to you after the show wanting to know more about why you feel the way you feel or why you believe what you believe. This conversation could be the beginning of real change for them and the ripple effect is immeasurable.
Whereas, once you call them a name or make accusations, their hearts harden and their minds close to you. If true change is what you are after with your solo show, then you need your audience to remain wide open to receive your vantage point.
- Need
NVC recommends that you identify the universal human requirement or value driving that emotion.
Perhaps your need is to feel respected, safe, or hopeful, to name a few.
Continuing to build on our political example, you could expand to say, “I felt depressed, hopeless and truly afraid. I need to feel safe and I need others to feel safe in this country as well.”
You are now simply stating a need that you have and safety is a universal need. While the means to achieve safety may be entirely unique as it occurs to one person differently than another person, the mutual need for safety allows both parties to meet on common ground. Standing in a place of shared human need allows real transformative conversation to begin.
- Request
Lastly, NVC suggests that you ask for a specific, clear, and doable action to enrich life, phrased as an open invitation rather than a forceful demand.
In the denouement of your solo show, you could make a request for a call to action such as, “I hope you will thoughtfully consider how important your vote is after everything I have shared with you today and cast your ballot in the next election.”
People do not typically enjoy being told what to do. In fact, it’s very much our nature to rebel against anything that is shoved down our throats. However, when someone shares powerful facts, personal feelings, meaningful needs and concludes with a passionate request, we are far more likely to consider shifting the paradigm we see the world through and taking action we might not otherwise have taken.
In closing, I will share a brief example of how NVC worked in my life in a massive and unexpected way.
A solo artist that I worked with was creating a solo show about veganism and animal rights. Now, at this time, I was a meat-and-potatoes girl originally from the midwest and steak dinners with a loaded baked potato topped off with sour cream, extra cheese and bacon bits were my absolute favorite meal.
This client was a deeply loving human being. Session after session she would share her personal story of becoming vegan, she would share resources with me and factual information, recommending documentaries and articles on human health as well as animal suffering. She would express the need for every sentient being to not endure harm and to be healthy and happy. She would gently request for me to try certain vegan foods and recipes.
She didn’t spend our time together ranting about how terrible slaughter houses are and what murderers people who consume meat and dairy are. Had she shown up in that manner, I would have been so turned off that I’d likely have taken myself to Outback Steakhouse after our session just to spite her. Yet, because I never felt judged by her, I felt safe to ask her questions, and safe to name my struggles and reservations, I was eventually able to make a major lifestyle change of my own freewill.
Quite miraculously, by the time I was done working with this client, I could no longer stomach the idea of eating meat ever again. I would go as far as to say I actually regretted ever having eaten meat. And anyone who knows me well, knows this was a complete 180 from how I had lived for over 30 years of my life. This was many years ago and I have never eaten meat since and I only have dairy on very rare occasions.
This exchange between me and this passionate yet loving solo artist, is a prime example of how a nonviolent, patient and caring approach can change someone’s mind. I changed my entire lifestyle because of her influence.
As solo artists, we have the power to make real and lasting change in people’s lives when we deeply ponder if we want to use a violent weapon or the tool of nonviolence in our solo shows.
Well, solo artists, I hope today’s blog entry has enabled you to see how Nonviolent Communication may be a device worth implementing in the performance of your solo show.
As always, remember that solo theatre may not be easy, but it is so worth it!
Jessica Lynn Johnson
Founder & CEO of Soaring Solo LLC
SoaringSoloArtist@gmail.com
www.SoaringSoloStudios.com
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