Divorce is never a nice thing, but whether you’re male or female, preparing to leave and starting over again can be very frightening.
You don’t have money behind you, you’re starting alone, it’s an uneasy time and you’re feeling very unsure about your best course of action. Most people don’t know how to tackle the situation in a calm and rational manner and as a result, they panic and think it’s too hard to leave the relationship. Some stay in the relationship even though they’re not happy. It’s not the best place to be in, but, staying in a loveless marriage isn’t smart either.
Starting over is a scary prospect but there is far more support available than ever before. So, how to start over again after divorce with no money behind you?
You Must Prepare To Leave
You want to start over and leave the turbulent relationship behind, but first, you need to prepare for the changes ahead. Far too many people don’t prepare ahead of time and leave with nothing but the clothes on their backs. It’s not the best way to deal with separation or divorce, especially if it has been a contentious one. So, instead, you need to think smart and prepare for what’s to come – before you walk out the door empty-handed!
- Create A Plan Of Action
A plan of action is essential for anyone preparing for divorce. Why is that? You have no clue what you’re doing and you’ll be in a tailspin (even when you think you’re doing just fine) and you could make mistakes that leave you penniless and homeless. Instead, you have to prepare and plan ahead for any eventuality. In the plan, you need to write down what you need to start over after the divorce and how you’ll be able to get it. You have to consider where you’ll stay and how you’ll support yourself as well as what steps you’ll take to get back on your feet. Baby steps are needed and you must take a wise approach in leaving.
- Try To Save Whatever Money You Can – If You Can
Having virtually no money behind you is bad no matter how rich your spouse might be. Remember, your spouse isn’t going to be paying for an attorney and they probably aren’t going to be supporting you during or after the divorce, so you can’t rely on that source of income. Yes, some spouses are entitled to spousal support or alimony, but it might be a long time in the waiting before you see any sign of it. What is more, depending on the circumstances of the divorce and how long you’ve been together, you might be left high and dry. So essentially, you can’t rely on anyone for money.
Essentially, you can’t rely on anyone for money. What you need to do is try and save any money you can – if you can – and put it aside for a good attorney that’ll get you a fair deal or even to use for a down payment on an apartment. Whatever money you manage to save could potentially be used to support you after the divorce and when you’re starting out with very little. You could sell off unwanted items you have and put away the money you make for later.
Go here to know more: https://americasaves.org/for-savers/make-a-plan-how-to-save-money/54-ways-to-save-money
- Consult A Divorce Attorney
Whether you’re going to opt for a traditional divorce or an online one, you need to know your rights and obligations. Speaking to a divorce lawyer or attorney can be very useful so that you know – potentially – what to expect from the divorce. Remember, every relationship is different and that means what you expect to get from the divorce may be different from what you’re entitled to and awarded. For example, the marital home was purchased by your spouse a decade ago, it’s in his name and you have only been living in it and contributing to the bills for one year; think you’re entitled to keep the property? Your spouse might be awarded the home since they are the ones that contributed the most and is technically theirs since they purchased it.
You cannot expect to get the lion’s share of the assets either because depending on the circumstances of the marriage, the spouse might be awarded the majority of them. What is more, the type of lawyer each spouse has may determine the outcome of the divorce settlement. You need to know what you’re facing during the divorce and how it’ll impact you. Lawyers can offer up a lot of useful advice and even support, so it’s something to look into.
Starting Over After Divorce
No-one wants to start from the bottom again, but it’s often the way after divorce. You’re in a new set of circumstances and you have to realize things won’t go back to how they used to be. Starting over after divorce doesn’t have to be as awful as it sounds, although for the first few months, possibly years, it won’t be all sunshine and roses.
- Look For Work
If you’ve been a housewife or househusband you’re going to have to get back in the workplace to support yourself. You probably aren’t used to the idea but you can’t rely on anyone to help you. Yes, government assistance can be useful at this time, but it’s not always enough to support you and your benefits may run out in very little time. Getting back into the workplace is difficult when you have little experience or have been out of the loop for several years, but there are still opportunities for you. Have you thought about the waitressing or tending bar?
There are plenty of part-time jobs in fast food outlets and restaurants to enquire about, and while they’re not ideal, they’re bringing in money and putting food on the table. What is more, if you can drive, you could become a part-time courier for local companies or a cab driver. Again, it’s maybe not your dream job but it’s something that’ll give you experience. If you wanted to gain experience but weren’t able to find a part-time job, why not look at volunteering? It’ll give you some work experience and a good reference or two!
- Consider Evening Classes To Build Qualifications
Qualifications aren’t always going to ensure you get the best paying job, but it’s something employers look for when they hire you. If you don’t have a high school diploma, why not look at GED glasses? Furthering your education can often be crucial for those starting over in life again after a divorce. There may also be free classes available and again it all helps to improve the basic skills that get you into the workplace.
- Consider Temporarily Moving In With Family
Going through a divorce with no money is a nightmare because you’re starting over without a penny. You have nothing. You can’t get an apartment on your own and you may have to consider moving back in with your parents or other family members. Of course, you dislike the idea because no matter your age you don’t want to be back living with them, but it’s often necessary. Think about this: you’ve gone through a messy divorce and you’ve walked away with only the shirt on your back, what are you going to do? You can’t get an apartment without money, you haven’t got a job (or a good-enough paying one) and you get little assistance from the government; you truly have few options.
It’s not a permanent move, it’s temporary. However, going back to live with your parents, grandparents or a sibling, isn’t a step back, it’s a step forward. You’ve gone through a tough divorce, but your family is willing to try and help you get back on your feet. They want you to get a job, save money for an apartment and be independent again. Sometimes, after a divorce, you have to look to the family to give you a helping hand for the first few months. You don’t necessarily have to take money from them, but rather their emotional support. Of course, financial support from family members happens and you might return the favor one day.
If they’re able to help, you could save enough money to start over again.
- Get A Place Of Your Own And Get Rid Of Items That Has Bad Memories
As said above, you might not be able to get an apartment or room rented immediately after the divorce since you have no money, so instead, you have to save. Hopefully, you’ll be able to save enough within a few months to get back on your feet and a home of your own. Don’t be disheartened at the fact you have returned to a childhood home because a divorce can often leave you with nothing. However, putting your all into starting over is essential to have a good life once again.
When you’re able to save up and afford somewhere nice, you could take the bold step of setting out on your own again. You can create a wonderful new home somewhere and it’s yours. However, when you’re ready to get rid of a few household items which hold a lot of bad memories for you. For instance, you have a dresser and your former spouse bought it for you, and every time you look at it, it brings back painful memories. Why not part company with it if you’re ready to do so? It might ease some hurt feelings you have.
- Enquire About Financial Support From The Local Government
If you’re out-of-work, you may be eligible for some financial support from the government. Assistance may not be something you want to apply for, but at the same time, you’re entitled to it and it’s a means of supporting yourself until you’re able to. You might be able to get food stamps or housing assistance and they’re helpful for you to start over after a divorce with no money and until you get a job.
- Give Yourself Time To Adjust And Let Go Of The Past
You have to grieve for the relationship you lost. You’ve lost the person you loved and while you’re not in that place anymore, you’re hurting. It’s essential to give yourself time to grieve and heal. You need to find a healthy outlet for your anger and give yourself time to adjust to your new situation. Also, you have to find a way to let go of the past. Let go of those hurt feelings and don’t let the bitterness overcome you.
Take a positive approach and tell yourself you’re better off and in a better place. Things will get better, but you have to give yourself time to get used to the divorce. Don’t keep raking over the past because it’ll only make you feel worse.
- Get Help From A Support Network And Don’t Rush Into A New Romantic Relationship
First, finding new love is possible, but, to be honest, you shouldn’t rush into a new relationship too quickly. Why is that if people say to move on? You’re still in a rocky emotional place and you don’t want to be taken advantage of and at the same time, you don’t want to hurt someone either. For example, you meet someone at a bar and you rush into the romance and the new partner thinks its love, but for you, it’s only a rebound fling. You’d hurt them, but also yourself. Instead, give yourself time to get used to being single before you look for love.
Second, you need a support network that is going to help you during and after the divorce. The group can be anyone from family members, close friends or even a local support group in the community. This is an essential part of starting over after divorce because you’re meeting people in the same boat as you. You can find support but also help support others.
Starting Over Is Necessary
You’ve gone through a divorce and whether it was a walk in the park or a grueling fight to the finish, it’s done and you have to find a way to pick yourself up and move on. It’s easier said than done, but the truth is there is far more support available than ever before. Even if you don’t have money behind you, it doesn’t mean to say you can’t start over.