I’m sure that many of y’all tried to be real-life James Bond, who talks with confidence to anybody around him and makes himself the most likeable person during an evening. I’m going to tell you a secret.
Nobody is born perfect, and even you can be that person. Being a good social person can be learnt, just the way you learn how to play on the piano. The most important thing is to practice. But no beginning is easy, so in this article, I will give you a jump start, by showing you some ways to be more social.
Up your small talk game
Small talks can often be cringy, but with enough practice, you can master it quickly. Some general rules tend to lead to success when it comes to small talk. The success being, avoiding long silences.
The first thing you should do is to make a compliment. People often tend to be defensive when they meet a new person. But with a compliment, you can break the ice and make them more comfortable. If you know or heard something about the person, you can complement their jobs or recent achievement. If not, you can just make some nice words about their attitude or physical appearance. Don’t be pushy or exaggerated; only find something that you appreciate about the other person and say it.
After you’ve set the tone for the conversation, and asked a few ‘get to know’ questions comes the most challenging part. When you both, nothing has to say anymore. To avoid this, always ask “why” questions, when people have the chance to express their opinions. And when it comes to you never end your sentences with “no”, “never”. Let the conversation and thoughts flow, and always express your more profound thoughts. People usually tend to like people because of their personality, not their appearance. So make sure to express yourself, but make sure that the conversation has a healthy 50-50 split and you let the other person talk as well.
And last but not least, try not to be too negative. Don’t be that person who has a conspiracy theory about everything, and always blame politics. Try to find thighs that you both are enthusiastic about, and you can express your positive and exciting thoughts.
Create a good impression in a group
If you’re not in a one on one talking situation, then it’s less likely that a cringy silent will appear. So in these kinds of cases, you will have another purpose, to be the star of the group. However, in a group, it could be hard to keep a healthy balance when you’re not too much, nor too little.
If you’re new in a group, or nobody knows nothing about each other then you can just wait for your moment to shine. Don’t be too much of a leader, some other charismatic people might find that offensive, and you will have a bad start. And never, ever, under any circumstances don’t tell jokes to break the ice or to be funny. Nobody likes that dude who starts with a joke.
Also, when you have to listen to other people you can still be an active listener. Just make sure you’re there, and not messaging others. Just make a few nods with your head, keep eye contact and laugh at jokes. There is no need to always verbally approve what the other person said, just make sure you’re there. It’s very important to be supportive of other people because later on, they will do the same to you. So give respect to get respect.
Now, let’s talk about the real deal. The part when you talk and when you have to shine. First of all, you have to decide whether or not the conversation is more of a formal or an informal one so far. If it’s more formal, then try to be more serious and on the subject. Try to show your professional life and interest. But if there is informal talking, in a pub or something, then you can bring out all your funniest stories. Telling funny stories will show the others that you’re an experienced person with a good sense of humour. And when you tell a story, make sure you put some acting in it. For example, use different voice tones, various postures, you can use props like glass or something that you can find nearby. The most important is to show that you’re a colourful person.
Create social events
If you want to be more social or at least to be better at it, you have to meet people. And if there is not a single event near you, you can just create one. a game night where you can invite your friends might be a perfect idea for this. If you do this at your home, you can be sure that it holds you back to be the best version of yourself because you will meet them in a familiar place.
If you want to hang out with your buddies, the things are more straightforward. You just get a table, a pack of cards and some snacks. The point is to have a good laugh and to catch things up with your friends. Therefore you should play a simple card game like poker, blackjack, rummy, or anything else. If you have some free time it’s always a good idea to practice a bit.
On the other hand, if you want to make mixed-gender game night, you should make some more preparations. First of all, you should think about a fun game to play. There are many options on the list, or if you have a friend who owns a lot of board games you can ask him to bring a few, and you will decide the game later on. Next, it’s always a good point to prepare something yourself. Everybody will appreciate more your homemade, healthy snacks rather than some bags of chips. If you do this, the rest will go on, stories will come up, and you will surely have a good time together. Just pay attention that during the game don’t act like a childish. Whether you’re winning or losing, make sure you do that with dignity.
The most important thing about being an excellent social person is to exercise it. You can’t be the life of a party if you’re staying in front of a computer reading jokes all day. Be brave and attend social events. You can be better at socializing only if you do that over and over.