After you have answered the question ‘When to get a divorce?’ and started the whole process going, you have to face another challenge — making this situation more bearable. It is not the easiest task, especially if you have kids and your ex-partner does everything in their power to make your life as miserable as possible.
Fortunately, divorce does not have to be an ordeal. If you follow a few simple tips, you can make the transition a lot smoother. They range from treating your ex-spouse with respect and asking professionals for advice to keeping your communication channels open and minimizing the disruptions to your kids’ daily routines. Here are some tips that can help you avoid unnecessary conflicts and make your separation and divorce easier for the whole family.
Make a Plan
Divorce is a tough time for both partners, especially if you have kids, and it is not easy to keep things under control. You will be extremely busy juggling between your own needs and those of your children. That’s why having a plan can be so helpful. It will allow you to stay on track, keep your emotions in check and make sure that you and your children stick to a healthy routine, which is vital for everybody’s mental health and emotional well-being.
Keep the Communication Channels Open
It is important to keep the lines of communication open during a separation or divorce. A lot of couples have joint accounts and share a mortgage or a car, which may lead to unpleasant situations if one of the spouses does not want to continue dealing with these financial matters. Make sure that you contact your ex-partner regularly and remind them about the financial obligations. Also, try not to hide your moves or cover your tracks. The more open you are, the better it is for everybody involved.
Be Polite and Respectful
You might be angry with your ex-partner, but try to avoid confrontation at all costs. Think about the children – you do not want to hurt your co-parent or make them feel uncomfortable. Instead, ensure that you treat them nicely and with respect. Kids shouldn’t see their parents hating each other.
Communicate Regularly With Your Kids
This is perhaps the most important tip for making your separation easier for the whole family. Although it is tempting to shield your kids from the conflict, it is impossible to completely isolate them from what is going on around them. It is best to communicate openly with them and see how they feel about what is happening. If you start hiding things from them, they will still notice that something is not right, and they will come up with their own scenarios, which will only make things worse for everybody. Better talk openly and explain why their life changed dramatically in the last few months or weeks. Keep things calm and explain why people who used to love each other cannot live together anymore.
Try Not To Change Routines
If possible, try to keep things as normal as possible for your children. Do not change their school, daycare, extracurriculars, or friends without warning. Even if you move out of your home, make sure that they still eat at the same time and go to bed at the usual hour. Try not to replace their toys or clothes without giving them enough time to get used to the new situation. They don’t need more changes in their lives right now!
Be Responsible About the Finances
Many couples have joint accounts during their marriage, which can make things complicated when they separate. It is vital to set up separate accounts as soon as possible and make sure that you receive a statement each month. If you cannot agree on how to divide your finances, get a mediator involved. Your ex-partner has the right to be informed about your actions and vice versa.
Do Not Ignore the Legal Aspects
If you are in the process of a divorce, do not neglect the legal aspects. Make sure that you contact your lawyer regularly and explain what has happened since your last meeting. Even if you don’t want to go to court, make sure that you fill out all the necessary paperwork to protect yourself. If you fail to do so, you might face unpleasant consequences later on.
Don’t Forget About Your Well-Being
This is perhaps the most important tip! Divorce is tough, and it takes a lot of energy to deal with it. You need to take some time for yourself and do things that make you feel good. Try to do something you like every day — go for a walk, read a book, spend time with friends or just sit quietly and rest or meditate. If you feel overwhelmed, ask your friends or family for help or see a mental health professional. You are not alone in this situation, and there are people who can help you.
Divorce does not have to be an ordeal for you and your family. If you follow some simple steps, you can make the transition easier.
Try to maintain a positive attitude, keep your communication channels open, and everyone as calm as possible. Even if you don’t like your ex-partner anymore, try to treat them with respect and ask your lawyer about legal protection.
Stay focused on what is important — your children — but do not forget about your well-being! It is essential to take care of yourself during a stressful time like this. If you keep these things in mind, you can make the whole thing more bearable.