When it comes to my career success, I find myself comparing myself to friends, colleagues, my family members – just about everyone! I criticize myself and how I’m not as smart or capable, I don’t belong in the game, blah, blah, blah. They think I’m an equal. Why don’t I? How do I get this elephant off my chest? Help! SJ
Great question, thanks for asking it. Self criticism is common, and I’m confident there are many, including myself, who can relate to what you are sharing. Self criticism can constrict and shut off our creative thinking, and paralyze us from moving forward and taking constructive actions in our lives. Self criticism is a waste of precious time. Let’s talk more about all of this.
Our Thinking Habits
We each interpret our personal life experiences differently and in our own unique way, deciding and choosing, consciously and unconsciously – to be responsible or a victim, or to become better or bitter – as a result of our experiences.
How we view and evaluate our selves is largely influenced and established when we are very young and under the care and supervision of our parents and family members or adopted caregivers. Therefore SJ, there’s a good chance the formerly unconscious habit of thinking that you are not as smart or capable as others, or don’t belong – began when you were a child based on your unique experiences and interactions.
The really good news: It is never too late for us to identify patterns of debilitating self criticism and transform them into patterns of empowering self esteem! We always have the freedom to choose better thoughts.
We take the first step to ending self criticism simply by catching ourselves when we’re having self critical thoughts – as demonstrated here by SJ. From here, the next step is to move into a new practice of self respecting and self empowering thoughts.
Your Positive Self Concept – Claim It Now
More really good news: There are many straightforward and effective tools available to all of us who are ready to take the next step in claiming our true nature – our positive self concept. Here are a few recommendations.
-- Honoring the Self: Self-Esteem and Personal Transformation, by Nathaniel Branden
-- The Self-Esteem Companion: Simple Exercises to Help You Challenge Your Inner Critic and Celebrate Your Personal Strengths, by McKay, Fanning, Honeychurch, Sutker
-- Loyalty To Your Soul: The Heart of Spiritual Psychology, by Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick
(I have learned a great deal from the Hulnicks, including Self Forgiveness, which is also taught in this uplifting book.)
CD Audio Books:
-- Maximum Confidence: Ten Secrets of Extreme Self Esteem, by Jack Canfield
-- Self Esteem: Your Fundamental Power, by Caroline Myss
Related specifically to career success, here are two of my recent favorites, both by Coach Steve Chandler: Our brains are goal achievement mechanisms, and Steve teaches how to use our thoughts and actions to live our lives of heartfelt purpose in ways that serve our wellbeing and the wellbeing of all life.
-- The Steve Chandler Ultimate Success Course (10 CD set)
-- 100 Ways to Create Wealth (Hardcover)
Another highly effective way to create lasting positive change in your life is to work with a personal life coach. I work with clients in Los Angeles and throughout the U.S., and internationally. Or if you already know of a Life Coach who you believe can help you make a lasting transition into your positive self concept, contact them for information. Very often, coaches including myself, offer an initial complimentary session to discuss the areas you wish to improve, working together, and fees.
We Have the Freedom To Choose Our Thoughts
The simple truth is this: our self concept is our destiny. So if we want to change our destiny for the better, we need to change our concept and beliefs about our selves also for the better. We always have the freedom to choose better thoughts.
And so SJ and all my readers, if you are ready to honor and express your special skills and gifts, and your birthright to be an equal player in this miraculous game of life – take your destiny in your own hands and start Your Positive Self Concept training, so that your positive self concept becomes your positive destiny. For the highest good of all.
For good or for ill, self-concept is destiny. – Nathaniel Branden
In life, we do what we believe we can do. No more than that. – Steve Chandler
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. – Siddhartha Gautama
From the heart,
your Life Coach Maddisen
Copyright 2013 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.