Thursday, 08 September 2011 17:00

5 Reasons Women Have All the Power (And Don’t Even Know It)

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Women have all the power, more power than You can imagine. Since puberty, we men have made 95% of our decisions based on the wishes of the holders of the Double Y Chromosome. How we dress, act, walk, talk, move, groove, work, jerk, excel, tell, joke, laugh, compete, and conquer relates to the golden pursuit…YOU.

You are what drive us, from age 14 to 102. Sure, men are driven by their work, but most men will also agree that their pursuit of work is directly related to their pursuit of women or providing for “The Woman” in their life. We have always found the ultimate gratification in life is to be able to provide for a woman (and our family). When we were hunters and gatherers, we would spend all day, sometimes two, traveling the area with spears in hand, hunting down the mighty game to literally bring home the bacon to your accepting hands. As Dr. Patricia Allen talks about in her book “The Truth About Men Will Set You Free,” we have thousands of years of history of male/female relations pumping through our DNA and if we stop to examine this history, we can find much success in the present day.

Let’s look into the TOP 5 Reasons Why Women Have All the Power and can use it to their benefit in the 21st dating world.



women powerThis one is the most obvious. As you know, a man’s sex organ is not in his pants but in his eyes. We are extremely visual. It is said that men are turned on through their eyes while women are turned on through their ears. Scientifically speaking, we men have an innate relationship with every aspect of your body, from the curve of your back, to the whiteness of your eyes, to the flowing of your hair. Chemicals charge our system when you do something as simple as run letting your fingers glide across your neck. Nature wants us to continue the human race and is constantly trying to be our best wing man in getting us to pursue you. But…alas, we 2011 men lack the confidence of our hunter and gatherer predecessors and the process does stall a bit. (Check out my previous blog on 5 Ways to Let Nature Be A Girl’s Best Wingman for more info on just how to rock his world when you are out and about.)



Now this one is a little tricky, but it is part of our wiring to provide for you. As you know, from caveman to hunter/gatherer to the 1950’s, a man’s greatest accomplishment was to provide for and to protect his family. Most of his self esteem and gratification emanated from success in bringing home the food or the paycheck to his lady. But man is not the only one capable of providing and protecting. This point is even more powerful now. Since a man’s ability to flex his providing muscle is not as necessary as it once was, you can now drive him giddy by finding creative ways in to let him provide for you.



A bit of the same of To PROVIDE, but men find so much spring in their step when they feel like they can be your mighty shield. The truth is, though, that we currently don’t live in a medieval society where women are being taken for bounty and clubbed over the head. So, I turn to Dr. Pat Allen again who talks about the power of acting shy, reserved, and coy. Does this work? Yes, because a man feels the need to protect you even more. Must you put on a show of coyness and reservation? No. If that is not your style, there are several ways to elicit his protective nature. Even though you can protect yourself and take care of the situation, men will melt and feel an attachment to you when they feel like you adore their protection and presence; that they are your knight in shining armor.



All day long, men and women toil in the work force, a place of heady, logistical, and competitive behavior to find success. Much of this behavior comes from the left side of the brain which deals with decision making and taking action. After the work day is over, the right side of the brain that is full of the creative, compassionate, emotional and communal is allowed to come out and play. Women have a bit of an advantage here (actually a huge advantage) in that their brain has a much larger corpus callosum (basically, a bridge between the left and right side of the brain) that allows for a beautiful dance between both styles of functioning. We men: not so much. Our bridge is much smaller and, thus, we seek that opposing energy. Where can we find that completion and be OK to let down our guard to our right side of the brain? You guessed it…YOU. (Insert “You complete me.” line here). You women have an uncanny ability to access that right side and come from a more heart centered energy: full of compassion, presence, tenderness, and emotion. We men try, but we struggle on our own. However, you give us that ok and ability. We seek it in YOU, we love to be around it in you, and are blown away from your ability to come from both your head and heart center in a way that we can only imagine. You are a much more complex and capable. Remind yourself of this truth next time you are on the town, on a date, with your BF or husband. We adore you. You have the power. Flex it and be confident in that heart center.



This is the most powerful on this list. You can throw away this whole blog, but take this one in, because it’s big. Ever since we were primates on all fours, we men chased you around emitting mating calls, beefing up our chests, wrestling away the competition, and trying to prove our ALPHA status as the best provider and protector. However, all of this was in vein unless you signaled with an audible or physical OK of, “I approve.”

The same holds true today. In a patriarchal society, this power has been reversed, and somehow the power remains in the man’s corner. Don’t believe the hype. I am telling you with all my heart, we men do not chose, you do, and we will do anything we can to get you all to chose us.

Now more than ever you still have that power. I don’t say this so you become aloof with men who take you out, but there are heck of a lot of men getting away with pretty childish behavior with women. I guarantee you that if you don’t allow that behavior to work, the men will change. Why? Because as much as our gallivanting around might seem like “playing” or “hunting,” it is futile unless the woman accepts the behavior. We try every trick in the book to get your attention. If you demand chivalry, we become knights. If you are OK with us having multiple girls on the side as we date you, then we will have our cake and eat it too. The higher you set the bar, the higher we will jump. We react to your approval of our behavior, because…YOU choose. If you want a gentleman, accept only gentleman like behavior.

See where I am getting at? You have all the power. Without you we have nothing. Call it genetics, chemistry, or human attraction, but we adore you and pretty much focus our life on the pursuit of you. Keep this in mind next time you are on a date and a negative thought comes across your mind in the form of, “Oh, I wonder if he likes me?”

Just be your awesome self and believe in your uncanny ability to be the better half of the human species. Ground yourself in this knowledge, and I think you will find that you will effortlessly charm him since he is the one who is trying to win you…not vice versa.

There is so much more to say, but if there is one message I could get across in a short blog: You Have More Power Than You Think. Use that as your mantra next time you walk in a room, on a date, or relax with your hubby. YOU HAVE THE POWER.

Have fun out there.
Seize the date,


Read 4247 times Last modified on Wednesday, 07 December 2011 03:43
Christian Anderson

Christian Anderson is the creator of Let's Talk Dating, a coaching program that helps men and women navigate through the 21st Century dating world. His Four Pillar system of Self Care, Attracting, Dating, and Committing helps identify the roadblocks we put up in our dating life and how to make shifts in perception, behavior, and action to foster a healthy relationship. He regularly speaks at seminars and retreats, hosts various workshops, and coaches one-on-one. He has made numerous appearances on various radio, web and TV shows and currently resides in Los Angeles. Contact Christian at, visit his site at, and follow him on twitter at!/letstalkdating.

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