We respect single men so much. Especially for having to keep up with today’s mystifying mating mores. Men have to do all of the heavy lifting -- approaching, attracting, courting, organizing, maintaining -- in the beginning. (Perhaps it’s better to say they should be doing these things).
Here are a few things men should not be doing when they’re going out on those first few dates:
1. Looking shabby. Apparently this means different things to different people so we’ll spell it out: look like you made an effort. Women notice your shoes, (un)ironed shirt, hair style, hands, etc. It’s cool to want to make an excellent first impression wherever you go. Women love a man who’s “put together” and well groomed.
2. Being too nice. Being nice is a lovely quality. Only being nice doesn’t make a woman fall for you. Women like a challenge just as men do. So don’t just be nice, be other things, too. Confident, funny, intelligent, spirited, principled, charming and interesting go a long way.
3. Lacking confidence. Masculine energy is all about strength, purpose and having a mission in life. Feminine energy is about being open, soft and receptive. Confidence can override height, economic stature and educational status. A woman will choose an average-looking man with a high confidence level over an above average-looking guy who’s insecure. The more confidence you exude, the safer and more comfortable she feels (which means higher feminine energy for you to enjoy).
4. Being unprepared. (Aka, boring). Have funny or meaningful stories ready to share. And don’t forget about asking interesting questions! It should never be all about you. Taking a few minutes to actually think about how you want to come across or what you’d like to convey is smart. What makes you stand out from the rest?
5. Failing to show your “rock star” side. If you're not rocking your own world or have yet to create a stellar or exciting life for yourself, why should she be attracted to you? What makes you alluring is the set of images you’re sharing about your life which incidentally should be a little more fun and exciting than hers. Talk about your experiences, not your stuff.
6. Playing it too safe. Don’t be afraid of emphasizing your masculinity. Flirting and creating appropriate “sexual tension” between you and your date is normal and healthy (Just ask the Italians!). Sexuality is a beautiful part of who we are. Being flirtatious is an indirect, fun and playful way to show someone you’re interested in them. Playing it too safe may land you in the friend zone .
7. Trying to convince her to like you. You cannot convince a woman to feel differently about you with reasoning or trying too hard. If she doesn’t “feel” it for you, no amount of calculated effort will work. Preserve your dignity and try not to take it too personally. Every “no” will bring you closer to the “YES!” you’ve been waiting for.