Friday, 23 January 2015 06:36

Dating - Look for perfection in the imperfection

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The biggest challenge in dating today is that people expect to find their version of perfection…or at least someone who totally fulfills their ‘list of requirements’. We’re a culture who likes to check, check, check things off our list. The problem is, that’s all backwards. Of course you need to make sure that you’re meeting people within your range of fundamental priorities. But at the end of the day, it boils down to the feeling, not the list. When you feel that indescribably delicious chemistry with someone, I guarantee you’re not going to care about those extra pounds / the color of her hair / his height / her degree / his job, etc.. You’re NOT. You’re going to be so happy that you finally connected with your person that you will just deal with the pieces that aren’t a perfect fit.

So unless you’re perfect, do not expect perfection in the man or woman you’re about to meet , date or fall in love with.

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Here are some things that you should remember when you’re seriously looking for The One:

  1. Don’t fixate on a ‘ type ‘ that works for you because let’s face it, if you’re still single, your type is not working for you.

  2. Leave your check list at home. When you meet The One, you will FEEL something. That something will feel good. You will be thrilled that you found that long-awaited connection and know that you will handle the imperfections or decide what you can tolerate.

  3. Simplify. Don’t get consumed by the imperfect moments on a first date. It’s rarely indicative of the real person. Oftentimes, people send their “representative” (aka the image they want to project) instead of their true selves. Don’t hem and haw about the “little things” that weren’t perfect. At the end of the date, just ask yourself one thing: “Overall did I have a good time with this person?” If you did, see them again. It’s really that simple.

  4. Real perfection is finding someone who challenges you to think differently, see another perspective and makes you become a better person. How boring would it be to have someone just agree with you all the time without having their own opinions?

  5. Differentiate yourself. Embrace what makes you unique. Don’t wait to bring your fun or goofy side out. Or sweet, nurturing side. Or quirkiness. Stand out. Being genuine is so underrated these days that it’s disarming, charming and will leave an impact.

Oscar Wilde said it best: “Be yourself; everyone else is taken.”

 

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Cristina Morara

Cristina and Andrea Morara are dating experts and own Stellar Hitch, a boutique matchmaking company catering to upscale professionals that incorporates dating coaching and image consulting in their matchmaking method. Specializing in bringing out people’s best qualities --on the inside and out—before they introduce them to their match, Stellar Hitch leads with a “dolce vita” approach to dating. They encourage clients to slow down, be present and bring their best and most playful self to the table because “it’s less about what you are doing and more about who you are being”.

The couple is currently working on the book "The Dolce Vita of Dating: How A Vintage Approach To Romance Will Lead You Straight To The Altar."

Contact Cristina at cristina@stellarhitch.com.

Visit www.stellarhitch.com for more information.

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