Smile and say hello. Does anyone ever approach you? We’re already a super-disconnected society thanks to our hyper-connected world. Look up. Stop typing. Be open. Connect with your environment. Smile at people. If you see someone attractive, make eye contact, don’t look away. Smile at 10 strangers today and see how good you feel at the end of the day.
Get out of your comfort zone. If your daily schedule is work-gym-home with the occasional dinner or drinks out with friends, the likelihood of you meeting someone is l-o-w. Add variety to your routine. Join a wine tasting group, take a photography class, volunteer, walk the dog at a new park, say YES to all invitations. Doing something different will yield different results.
Don’t be so attached to the outcome. First dates are far from perfection so get real with your expectations. Everyone wants to leave a date feeling like they just met The One but it doesn’t always happen right away. It’s like buying a lottery ticket. When you buy one, you don’t start thinking about how you’re going to spend the money; you forget about it and go about your day…until you hit the jackpot., of course.
Get over yourself. Friends are wonderful. Most of them blow sunshine where the sun don’t shine and tell us what a great catch we are. And we believe them because they rarely enlighten us about the things that we need to improve. Perhaps you have blind spots that nobody’s ever mentioned to you or your hairstyle is the same you’ve had for 20 years or you’re clueless when it comes to starting a conversation. Consider setting up a consultation with an expert in the field of image or dating . Sometimes just a tiny shift in perspective and approach is all you need to attract what you’re looking for.
Stop the negativity. Some people make it a sport to find things wrong with their date and then deliciously commiserate with their friends .They expect to find something negative so they unconsciously look for it. Good fodder for friends, but sad cycle for you. Look for the good in people. As Walt Whitman said, “Be curious, not judgmental”.
Get a life. Find and cultivate your passion! If your job is the main attraction in your life, something’s wrong. How would you answer the question: “What do you do for FUN?” (Not relaxation). Working out at the gym doesn’t count. People are attracted to passionate people. Do something that adds value to who you are and what you bring to a relationship.
Stay connected. Too many people bring their cerebral self to the dating scene. Falling in love is not an intellectual decision, so stop staying in your head and come out and play and be in the moment. It’s where the real stuff happens. Vow to be present on your next date. See the other person with your heart. We’re all in this together.
Be comfortable with yourself. If you haven’t learned how to enjoy your own company, how is anyone else supposed to? It all begins with you.