Dear Maddisen:
Have you heard the phrase: Rejection is God’s protection? I just overheard this in a conversation while I was getting a coffee. I don’t get it but I can’t get it out of my head. Have you heard this? Do you get it?  Thanks, BA

Dear BA,
Thanks for your question. Yes, I’m familiar with the expression – rejection is God’s protection – and I’m happy to share my definition and how I’ve seen this concept working in my life and in my clients’ lives.  

Let’s face it, for most of us, whether we get rejected in love, friendship, in work, or wherever, rejection feels awful.

Rejection tends to turn us inward in a negative way – causing us to feel unworthy, flawed, not good enough, unlovable, frustrated, confused, angry, sad, etc. – which can get us painfully bogged down in paralyzing self criticism.

But if we believe, as I do, that all experiences in life directly support our learning, growth, and upliftment – then rejection must also be a path for our learning, growth, and upliftment.

So, if you experience rejection, the first question to ask before spiraling down into the dark abyss of confusion, self criticism, and suffering is – how is this rejection protecting me? How is this rejection serving my wellbeing and happiness? How is this rejection helping me to learn, grow, and become happier in my life going forward?

The Reward of Rejection
Here’s a story that exemplifies this perfectly. I worked with a female client who was dating a guy she liked very much. She still wanted time to get to know him more, but was sensing the potential for a deep and long-term relationship. Early in their dating, they both agreed to cancel their online dating subscriptions and to be exclusive – so that they could focus on getting to know each other built on a solid foundation of loyalty, honesty, and trust.

Several months into dating, she found out through a mutual friend that he was back online on the dating site, but hadn’t told her. She confronted him, he openly admitted he was back online looking, confessed he wasn’t sure he was ready to commit, and asked for some time apart to get clarity on what he really wanted.

My client deduced that essentially he was breaking up with her, and she felt rejected and sad. And as we worked together, I could see that she was starting to spiral down into questions of why and why her, and down, down, down into that suffering and muddy place of feeling unworthy, unlovable, flawed, self critical, etc.

At that point, I asked her how this perceived rejection might actually be a way that her higher self was protecting her. At first, she shared how his actions were dishonest and disloyal. I asked how his actions might be a mirror to inform how she was treating herself, and how she might be being dishonest and disloyal to herself in that relationship. And then, I could see the light go on in her teary eyes. The truth she realized was this: she was not really certain about him either, or happy with some of his core qualities and values, but continued to date him anyway because of the pleasant companionship and qualities she did enjoy about him. So in essence, she realized she was settling, and not being honest with herself about what she was truly and fully wanting but not getting, and was therefore not being loyal to herself by staying in a relationship that truly was not satisfying or aligning with her deepest values and desires. By the end of the session, she clearly understood how his rejection was truly her higher self’s way of informing and protecting her, and saw that this fellow was not her match.

This is not to say that she did not feel some sadness and loneliness after this loss of her former companion. She did feel sad, and really missed his company for a while.  But with my coaching support and her keen awareness and desire to grow into more fulfillment and happiness, she knew it was healthy to feel these emotions, accept them, and trust that the dynamic and positive nature of her life and goals would move her forward into something even better next time. It became real for her that she was more aware, wiser, and feeling a deeper sense of contentment as a result of this experience, which was disguised as rejection – because she was being honest with herself and loyal to her core values and heartfelt desires. Perhaps she needed the experience to build a more solid foundation of loyalty, honesty, and trust within herself.

Ask yourself – How is this rejection protecting me?
From this day forward, if you experience rejection, the first question to ask before spiraling down into the dark abyss of confusion, self criticism, and suffering is – how is this rejection protecting me? How is this rejection mirroring and informing how I might be rejecting myself and my needs? How is this rejection serving my wellbeing and happiness? How is this rejection helping me to learn, grow, and become happier in my life going forward?

And so, BA and all my readers, this should give you a much better understanding of the phrase: Rejection is God’s protection. I understand that not everyone may align with the word “God”. Don’t get hung up on that. It’s the concept that is most important here. If you prefer, use the phrase: Rejection is my protection. Or use whatever is your most accurate equivalent of God. For example, “higher power”, “spirit”, “source energy”, “the universe”, etc. May we all continue to be our own greatest allies and supporters, as we navigate through our incredible lives on Earth, in service to our highest good and the highest good of all.

Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved." Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence. – Henri Nouwen

There's nothing like rejection to make you do an inventory of yourself. – James Lee Burke

I don't want anyone who doesn't want me. – Oprah Winfrey

I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection. – Billy Joel

From the heart,
your Life Coach Maddisen


Copyright 2013 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Dear Maddisen:
I’ve done my share of workshops. I’m looking for something that has deep and lasting results, and that involves fresh air and the outdoors. Any suggestions?  Best, JW

Dear JW,
Thanks for your question, which is perfect and perfectly timed! I am currently contemplating such a workshop for myself – a guided “vision fast” in the great outdoors.

A vision fast, which is also sometimes referred to as a vision quest, is a rite of passage – a self initiated ceremony or ritual that is done outdoors, facilitated by experienced guides, and which gives the individual time to pause, time to mark significant life transitions, and time to initiate desired new life changes.

Such rite of passage ceremonies are as old as dirt, found in almost every tradition, culture, and religion throughout the world, and continue to be a powerful way for teenagers and adults to acknowledge, mourn, release, welcome, or celebrate important life transitions of any kind, such as actual or symbolic births and deaths, major life changes, career changes, divorce, marriage, menopause, birthdays, successes and achievements, children leaving home, recovery from addiction, etc.

Taking the time to give ourselves something like this is a highly conscious way of taking stock of and honoring our lives, and being deliberate about how we want to live our lives going forward.

There are groups around the world that facilitate rite of passage programs such as the vision fast. I have participated in this work for more than a decade with the School of Lost Borders in Big Pine, CA. Check out their website for schedules and lots more information. www.schooloflostborders.org

In addition to other trainings at the school, I've done six vision fasts with them to date -- marking two significant birthdays, a career change, two key life changes, and a relationship change. And I've participated in these programs with all types of interesting people of all ages and from all over the world, including artists, doctors, grandmothers, teens, moms, dads, CEOs, therapists, you name it -- all embarking on a vision fast to mark their own unique transitions.

The Vision Fast: Preparation, Solo, Return
The format and length of vision fasts may vary, but typically the ceremony involves 4 days of preparation, 3-4 days and nights of fasting alone in a wilderness place, and several days of incorporation.

Intent and Preparation
A key step in preparing for your ceremony is to deeply engage the question, “What is my intent for my upcoming ceremony?” In other words, right now, and from the deepest place in your psyche, what can you say about that which is compelling you to embark on this vision fast?  
During the four days preceding your fasting/solo time, your guides will help you further clarify your intent, which can be a process as powerful and profound as the actual fast itself. You will also be educated and readied to physically, mentally, and spiritually benefit from the experience of fasting alone in the wilderness.

Solo Experience in Nature
The solo experience involves time alone in a natural place (solitude), fasting (emptiness), exposure to the elements (vulnerability), and self-reliance (self-trust). During solo time, the guides maintain a safe perimeter around the area and make sure you have sufficient provisions. I liken solo time to being inside a cocoon, where within the illusory sheath of dormancy, new life percolates, just waiting for its time to explode into full potential. The experience of solo time is somewhat indescribable, different for everyone, and guaranteed to create memories that stay with you for a lifetime!

Return and Incorporation
Upon return, you join together with the other fasters and guides for the sharing of personal stories. The guides support you by listening and reflecting the significant lessons of your story, and then challenge you to give your vision practical feet -- to live the life and change(s) you have rightfully claimed as your own!

To read more about the exact stages of a vision fast and how to prepare, read this article on the School of Lost Borders website: http://www.schooloflostborders.org/content/how-prepare-your-vision-fast-ceremony-0

And so, dear JW and all my readers, I hope this answers some of your questions. If you are being called to honor yourself, your life, and your people in this way, perhaps you are ready for this deep and lasting initiation in nature. The truth of nature is what will make your solo time real, mysterious, and meaningful.

"My soul is striving to remember who I am, to make who I am compatible with who I was born to be, to bring who I am into synch with who I will be." – Stephen Foster and Meredith Little, founders of the School of Lost Borders

“Initiation causes a funeral and a birth; a mourning appropriate to death and a joyous celebration for the restoration of a full life.” – Michael Meade

"Nature is made to conspire with spirit to emancipate us.”  ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

From the heart,
your Life Coach Maddisen


Copyright 2013 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Dear Maddisen:
I’m always on the lookout for guided mediations that heal and soothe and empower my heartfelt life and desires. Do you have any favorites you can share? Blessings, MW

Dear MW,
Thank you for your note and request. There are a good number of wonderful guided meditations available nowadays, and I’m happy to share a few of my favorites.

Here are three of my latest favorites:

Holoenergetic® Guided Healing Meditations

The “Holoenergetic Guided Healing Meditations” were created by Leonard Laskow, M.D. You may recall that I blogged about Dr. Laskow this summer when he was coming to LA to facilitate his Forgiveness workshop. Dr. Laskow is a Stanford-trained physician who developed Holoenergetics and the author of “Healing with Love”. He has studied and researched the healing power of love for more than 30 years.

Holoenergetic Healing refers to healing with the energy of the whole, not just parts of ourselves, not just the symptoms, but healing the body and mind, and bringing the body and mind back to its natural state of wholeness and wellness.

The Holoenergetic Guided Healing Meditations are on CD and narrated by Dr. Laskow, who has a very soothing voice.

The CD includes four meditations:

• Conscious Heart Focus induces heart coherence allowing direct access to aware loving presence here and now.

• Unconditional Love Process opens a portal to oneness through unconditional love.

• Balancing Breath balances the autonomic nervous system bringing you into heartbrain coherence which induces intuitive knowing, higher guidance and unitive nonlocal awareness.

• Intuitive Co-Creator guides you in co-creating your reality and manifesting what you truly want with all your heart.

You can purchase this CD for $22 plus shipping on Dr. Laskow’s website. Here is the link: http://www.laskow.net/store/

Meditations for a Miraculous Life

The “Meditations for a Miraculous Life” is a 2-CD program by best-selling author and lecturer Marianne Williamson.  “Honor your need to cultivate quiet and become grounded in deeper serenity by practicing these customized meditations for different aspects of your daily life: work, finances, health, relationships, and more. When you start and end your day with positive energy and spiritual reflection, you’ll find that your life will truly change for the better.”

You can purchase this set on Amazon by following this link: http://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Miraculous-Life-2-CD-Set/dp/1401917321/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1309883182&sr=8-8


Getting Into The Vortex: Guided Meditations CD and User Guide

This guided meditations CD was created and narrated by Jerry and Esther Hicks. Esther is an American inspirational speaker and best-selling author, who has co-authored numerous books and presented numerous workshops on the Law of Attraction. She channels a non-physical group of beings named Abraham.

“Living a better-feeling life really comes down to one thing only: coming into alignment with the Energy of our Source. Abraham reminds us that we are truly Source Energy focused into our physical bodies, and that a conscious Connection to that Broader Non-Physical part of us is necessary if we are to be the joyful Beings that we were born to be. Abraham calls that wonderful alignment Getting into the Vortex.

The CD is a unique recording containing four powerfully guided daily meditations that have been designed to get you into the Vortex of Creation in four basic areas of your life: General Well-Being, Financial Well-Being, Physical Well-Being, and Relationships.”

You can purchase this CD and User Guide on Amazon by following this link: http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Into-Vortex-Guided-Meditations/dp/1401931693/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1355696757&sr=1-1&keywords=getting+into+the+vortex+guided+meditations+cd+and+user+guide

I have found all of these guided meditations to be very uplifting and effective in helping me to steer my thoughts and my actions into the direction and experience of my well-being, heartfelt desires, and life purpose.

To MW and all of my readers, please feel free to use the “Comments” section below to share favorite guided meditations that you feel would benefit others reading this blog.

During this holiday season and into the new year and beyond, may we all remember to appreciate the gift of Life, and claim our birthright to live our lives fully with heartfelt purpose – in service to our well-being and the well-being of all. Thank you everyone for your continued readership and support.

From the heart,
your Life Coach Maddisen


Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Dear Maddisen:
I’m having a really rough time. And I’m having an equally tough time staying positive and trusting that I can make certain things in my life better. How do you stay positive when things are not going well?  Thanks, JS

Dear JS,
Thank you for your honesty, and relevant question. I’m sure many of us can relate to what you’re expressing here, I know I can. And I’d like to share an approach that might help.

Life is about experience, and we have a very natural tendency to categorize and judge our experiences as good or bad. I believe that all experiences are relevant, and it is always up to the individual to figure out the relevancy.  Painful or unpleasant experiences are usually much harder to look at as having any relevancy or purpose, however, they might actually contribute the most to our positive growth, reward, and fulfillment.

As much as we may try to elevate or separate ourselves from the forces of nature, the truth is – we humans are part of nature. And just as great mountains are formed by the adverse and favorable conditions of nature, so are humans formed by our adverse and favorable life experiences.  However, we have the advantage of a brain/mind and the power and freedom to choose how we think, feel, and respond to our experiences – the good and the bad ones.

Abraham-Hicks refers to life’s adverse experiences as “contrast”, and suggests that our job is to use the contrast to see and get clear on what we don’t want, so that we can then define, focus on, and manifest what we DO WANT.

Our Brain Is Our Friend
But the key during this whole process of moving through contrasting or negative experiences – is keeping our thoughts and feelings focused on the positive outcome or result that WE WANT.  When we stay focused on what we want, and remain focused on how what we want will feel – then we line up with the thoughts and feelings associated with having the desired experience, thus allowing the birth of the desired experience.

This is also referred to as the law of attraction – the belief that like attracts like, and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can manifest positive or negative experiences. Obviously, most of us prefer positive experiences, so the key, especially during rough times, is to stay focused on the desired experience and the positive feelings that accompany the desired experience.

This might take practice, but it’s what our brain is for – so let’s start using our brain/thoughts to think about our positive, desired experiences – especially during rough times.

How to Stay Positive During a Rough Time
Take 10 minutes to listen to this YouTube recording of Esther and Abraham Hicks speaking about contrast, and specifically how to stay positive and focused on the desired results during a bad or rough time.

Contrast: Getting Desires Manifested More Easily - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFwBzOPdO54

And so dear JS and all my readers, knowing that adversity or contrast is meant to serve us and help us define what we DO want in life, let us start using the rough times as an opportunity to focus on the positive feelings that come with the positive experiences we truly want to be having.

I understand that holding positive thoughts and feelings during prolonged tough times may not always be as simple as it sounds. If so, follow these tips:

1. Tap into and really connect with how much you care, how much you care about your well being and living well, and the well being of all life. Feel how deeply you want to be doing well in all areas of your life. Know that you can at least trust how much you care, you can trust that you want to stay positively focused, and you can trust that you want to make certain things in your life better.
2. Look at the contrast you are currently dealing with, and ponder how this undesired situation is helping you to define what you do want. Before you go to sleep each night, ask for clarity about what you want and how to get it, and then be aware of 'answers' that come to you in dreams or after you awake.
3. Write down what you want as clear intentions, using "I am" to start each intention. Read your intentions daily, and even speak them aloud. This may help you to be in a more steady and frequent positive state, and will move all 'creating' systems in the direction of your true desires.

May we remember these facts – that life is for living, and that our brains are programmed to support life – so let’s use our love for life and our thoughts in support of the positive and meaningful lives we came here to experience, and enjoy.

Your Life Coach,
Maddisen


Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.