Cristina and Andrea Morara are dating experts and own Stellar Hitch, a boutique matchmaking company catering to upscale professionals that incorporates dating coaching and image consulting in their matchmaking method.
The first thing we tell people who ask us what they should be doing to find the right guy/girl is “Get a life!” What we really mean is go find your bliss NOW. Most successful professionals we meet are so wrapped up in their career that they’ve left little time to cultivate their passions. When I ask them what they do for fun, their eyes glaze over. Usually they’ll say “work out” (really?!) or go out with friends. Which is fine. But what I’m really asking is what sets you on fire? What makes your eyes dance? Your toes curl?
Being well-rounded and interesting with something other than your career to talk about is wildly attractive.
I was interviewing a new male client recently who had all of the time in the world to cultivate his talents. He was a career man who had accumulated financial wealth and little else. A one-trick pony. His topics of conversation revolved around the financial world. He lived a healthy lifestyle and took care of himself but other than that, he had very little to convey. I tried to find out how else he liked to express himself. He loved good food but got bored of going out to restaurants all the time. He had a beautiful home with a to-die-for “virgin” kitchen. After I told him that women think a man in the kitchen is sexy, his eyes widened. “Why not learn 3 dishes really well so when you invite a woman over for dinner, you can show her your confidence in the kitchen”. He was game. I also encouraged him to learn about wine. He got nervous. “Start exploring! Have fun with it. There’s no right or wrong when it comes to your taste; pick three wines that you like and learn enough about them so you can tell a story”, I suggested.
A Renaissance man in the making. Bringing more layers into a relationship makes it more interesting and exciting. These are the basics, gentlemen!
The other day I was getting feedback from two clients who just went out on a date. She was smitten; he was on the fence. He wasn’t so sure about the chemistry he felt for her and mentioned that she was rigid and somewhat flat. When I encouraged him to tell me what he liked about her, he said something interesting. Apparently when she started talking about her art and music, she became more appealing. He used words like “animated”, “more attractive” and “passionate” to describe her. Tell me more! I urged. The more positive qualities he recounted, the more convinced he became that he was too quick to judge her (that’s a whole other blog!!!) and decided to see her again. All in the name of sharing one’s passion.
Being single is a fantastic time to design the life you want or at least enjoy the freedom of exploring your own tastes. When I was single in my 30’s, I used to think what an excellent opportunity it was for me to develop my “skills” – whether it was learning how to be a better cook, attending more art openings so I could be more well-versed in art, learning how to plant a garden or making a signature Bellini – I wanted to enter a new relationship “bearing gifts”. This mind-set not only increases your confidence level, it increases your value which means you get to choose higher-quality “fish” in the sea of potential love. Win-Win.
What are you bringing to the table?
I’ve been spending a lot of time interviewing men lately – “seasoned” single men in their late 40’s to 60’s -- and much to my dismay, I have been hearing the same thing from all of them. When I ask them to tell me stories about their first dates, (too) many of them say the same thing: women dump.
Body language is our loudest voice. Make sure you know what yours is saying
Today we can order men or women online like Super-sized value meals: hold the onions, extra beef and no ice, please! With the tap of our fingers, we can literally choose our Dream Date: 36C, non-smoker, over 6’ male, loves dogs, is FIT. When did we start kicking romance to the curb?
Moving to Milan when I was 29 and single changed my life forever.
I wasn’t looking for a husband; I just wanted a challenging life experience. I had enjoyed being single in Manhattan and Los Angeles; there were some great moments but I wanted to be spellbound.
Back in the day when I was single in my 20's, a little wild, bright-eyed and snarky, I found it incredibly easy to date. With two outgoing roommates who had cool jobs, we were always sharing friends, having parties and meeting interesting people. The opportunities for meeting Mr. Right Now were endless.
5 Steps to Clear the Pity Party
Oh SH%$, It’s the Holidays!
I am not a fan of the single’s holiday survival blogs…but let’s knock around a few points here to help keep the mind right during the holiday season.
The hottest topic on most dating blogs usually involves the disappearance of men during the dating process. Why do they disappear after the first date? After the third date? After the third month?
There are a myriad of ways to get ourselves out there to attract a good mate into our lives. The 21st Century has afforded almost every way possible to mingle with the opposite sex.
SEX, SEX, and more SEX. It comes up quite quickly in dating, many times from the first date. It lingers between both of your thoughts and you might be wondering when will be the right time to let all systems go? If you do sleep with him, will it mess up your chemistry and will he end of pulling away? Or, can it elevate the budding chemistry and feed the relationship? If you are looking to attract a long term relationship, here are some ideas to think about.
If had a quarter for every time I heard:
First Dates can be a little nerve racking, especially if you have some excitement over the beau taking you out. Maybe it has been awhile or maybe you have had a series of duds and this one seems like he could be the real deal.
I was at a Memorial Day BBQ this past weekend and brought a good lady friend of mine. She is quite attractive, smart, and confident. Many knew that we were just friends, so men proceeded to take their best shot and see if they could make in-roads with her. For the sake of protecting her identity, let’s call her Trish.