Cristina and Andrea Morara are dating experts and own Stellar Hitch, a boutique matchmaking company catering to upscale professionals that incorporates dating coaching and image consulting in their matchmaking method.
Many people hope that their next date with someone new is going to take them ‘off the market’. They want to be blown away by chemistry. Unfortunately, it rarely happens that way.
When it comes to matters of the heart, people are extremely judgmental when they first meet someone. Call it “thin slicing”, a gut reaction or unconscious behavior, but we make assumptions about others within seconds of meeting them.
A first impression in dating used to be based on how you felt as soon as you saw someone and started chatting them up.
As a matchmaker, I can easily say that over-analytical behavior is hands down the number one crime in dating. There’s no place for cerebral decision-making in matters of the heart.
The biggest challenge in dating today is that people expect to find their version of perfection…or at least someone who totally fulfills their ‘list of requirements’. We’re a culture who likes to check, check, check things off our list. The problem is, that’s all backwards. Of course you need to make sure that you’re meeting people within your range of fundamental priorities. But at the end of the day, it boils down to the feeling, not the list. When you feel that indescribably delicious chemistry with someone, I guarantee you’re not going to care about those extra pounds / the color of her hair / his height / her degree / his job, etc.. You’re NOT. You’re going to be so happy that you finally connected with your person that you will just deal with the pieces that aren’t a perfect fit.