Dating doesn’t have to be an arduous chore. Having to ‘turn it on’ for a stranger for the hundredth time and tempering hopeful expectations can run its toll on a person.
It’s exhausting, energetically consuming and often disappointing.
Imagine if each time you met someone new, it turned into a cool adventure.
Here are two things you can do on a first date to ensure that you have a meaningful experience and a fun time no matter what:
First, think outside of the box when you plan your first date.
Instead of playing it safe with perfunctory ‘drinks’, why not think about doing something that you genuinely like to do – something that you would do for yourself anyway on the weekend or even on a week night? Dying to see the Cindy Sherman exhibit at the Broad? Invite him to go.
Do you always get a hike in on the weekends? Make that your first date. Dreaming of going paddle boarding in the Marina with someone? Do it. Does a bike ride relax you? Suggest that for a first date. By planning an activity that you love or something that you’ve been meaning to explore, you are not only showing your date that you’re creative and thoughtful but you’re essentially ‘folding’ them into the rhythm of your life which makes you look more interesting AND if things don’t click with your date, you’ve still managed to do something you were planning on doing anyway. Less pressure, more fun. Win-Win!
Second, let go and let your genuine side show.
It’s normal to have your guard up when you meet someone new for the first time. Everybody wears armor in the dating world. But if you want to have a more appealing experience, choose real over superficial. Feeling nervous? Say so. Do you take time to warm up? Admit it. Are you bad at first dates? Confess! Own your story upfront so you can create room for more authentic sharing. Being honest and real is disarming. Ask your date interesting questions that reveal their character (instead of straight up interview questions) like….What’s your most treasured memory? What’s your biggest accomplishment so far? What surprising quality do you possess? What do you value most in life? Or ask them to sum up their life on a bumper sticker. Keep it entertaining, creative and sincere.
Vow to connect on a deeper level with your dates and notice the quality of your experience become more fulfilling every time.