Ask Maddisen

Dear Maddisen:
I’ve done my share of workshops. I’m looking for something that has deep and lasting results, and that involves fresh air and the outdoors. Any suggestions?  Best, JW

Dear JW,
Thanks for your question, which is perfect and perfectly timed! I am currently contemplating such a workshop for myself – a guided “vision fast” in the great outdoors.

A vision fast, which is also sometimes referred to as a vision quest, is a rite of passage – a self initiated ceremony or ritual that is done outdoors, facilitated by experienced guides, and which gives the individual time to pause, time to mark significant life transitions, and time to initiate desired new life changes.

Such rite of passage ceremonies are as old as dirt, found in almost every tradition, culture, and religion throughout the world, and continue to be a powerful way for teenagers and adults to acknowledge, mourn, release, welcome, or celebrate important life transitions of any kind, such as actual or symbolic births and deaths, major life changes, career changes, divorce, marriage, menopause, birthdays, successes and achievements, children leaving home, recovery from addiction, etc.

Taking the time to give ourselves something like this is a highly conscious way of taking stock of and honoring our lives, and being deliberate about how we want to live our lives going forward.

There are groups around the world that facilitate rite of passage programs such as the vision fast. I have participated in this work for more than a decade with the School of Lost Borders in Big Pine, CA. Check out their website for schedules and lots more information.

In addition to other trainings at the school, I've done six vision fasts with them to date -- marking two significant birthdays, a career change, two key life changes, and a relationship change. And I've participated in these programs with all types of interesting people of all ages and from all over the world, including artists, doctors, grandmothers, teens, moms, dads, CEOs, therapists, you name it -- all embarking on a vision fast to mark their own unique transitions.

The Vision Fast: Preparation, Solo, Return
The format and length of vision fasts may vary, but typically the ceremony involves 4 days of preparation, 3-4 days and nights of fasting alone in a wilderness place, and several days of incorporation.

Intent and Preparation
A key step in preparing for your ceremony is to deeply engage the question, “What is my intent for my upcoming ceremony?” In other words, right now, and from the deepest place in your psyche, what can you say about that which is compelling you to embark on this vision fast?  
During the four days preceding your fasting/solo time, your guides will help you further clarify your intent, which can be a process as powerful and profound as the actual fast itself. You will also be educated and readied to physically, mentally, and spiritually benefit from the experience of fasting alone in the wilderness.

Solo Experience in Nature
The solo experience involves time alone in a natural place (solitude), fasting (emptiness), exposure to the elements (vulnerability), and self-reliance (self-trust). During solo time, the guides maintain a safe perimeter around the area and make sure you have sufficient provisions. I liken solo time to being inside a cocoon, where within the illusory sheath of dormancy, new life percolates, just waiting for its time to explode into full potential. The experience of solo time is somewhat indescribable, different for everyone, and guaranteed to create memories that stay with you for a lifetime!

Return and Incorporation
Upon return, you join together with the other fasters and guides for the sharing of personal stories. The guides support you by listening and reflecting the significant lessons of your story, and then challenge you to give your vision practical feet -- to live the life and change(s) you have rightfully claimed as your own!

To read more about the exact stages of a vision fast and how to prepare, read this article on the School of Lost Borders website:

And so, dear JW and all my readers, I hope this answers some of your questions. If you are being called to honor yourself, your life, and your people in this way, perhaps you are ready for this deep and lasting initiation in nature. The truth of nature is what will make your solo time real, mysterious, and meaningful.

"My soul is striving to remember who I am, to make who I am compatible with who I was born to be, to bring who I am into synch with who I will be." – Stephen Foster and Meredith Little, founders of the School of Lost Borders

Initiation causes a funeral and a birth; a mourning appropriate to death and a joyous celebration for the restoration of a full life.” – Michael Meade

"Nature is made to conspire with spirit to emancipate us.”  ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

From the heart,
your Life Coach Maddisen

Copyright 2013 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Monday, 17 December 2012 19:06

Holiday Healing Meditations for You

Written by

Dear Maddisen:
I’m always on the lookout for guided mediations that heal and soothe and empower my heartfelt life and desires. Do you have any favorites you can share? Blessings, MW

Dear MW,
Thank you for your note and request. There are a good number of wonderful guided meditations available nowadays, and I’m happy to share a few of my favorites.

Here are three of my latest favorites:

Holoenergetic® Guided Healing Meditations

The “Holoenergetic Guided Healing Meditations” were created by Leonard Laskow, M.D. You may recall that I blogged about Dr. Laskow this summer when he was coming to LA to facilitate his Forgiveness workshop. Dr. Laskow is a Stanford-trained physician who developed Holoenergetics and the author of “Healing with Love”. He has studied and researched the healing power of love for more than 30 years.

Holoenergetic Healing refers to healing with the energy of the whole, not just parts of ourselves, not just the symptoms, but healing the body and mind, and bringing the body and mind back to its natural state of wholeness and wellness.

The Holoenergetic Guided Healing Meditations are on CD and narrated by Dr. Laskow, who has a very soothing voice.

The CD includes four meditations:

  • Conscious Heart Focus induces heart coherence allowing direct access to aware loving presence here and now.
  • Unconditional Love Process opens a portal to oneness through unconditional love.
  • Balancing Breath balances the autonomic nervous system bringing you into heartbrain coherence which induces intuitive knowing, higher guidance and unitive nonlocal awareness.
  • Intuitive Co-Creator guides you in co-creating your reality and manifesting what you truly want with all your heart.

You can purchase this CD for $22 plus shipping on Dr. Laskow’s website. Here is the link:

Meditations for a Miraculous Life

The “Meditations for a Miraculous Life” is a 2-CD program by best-selling author and lecturer Marianne Williamson.  “Honor your need to cultivate quiet and become grounded in deeper serenity by practicing these customized meditations for different aspects of your daily life: work, finances, health, relationships, and more. When you start and end your day with positive energy and spiritual reflection, you’ll find that your life will truly change for the better.”

You can purchase this set on Amazon by following this link:

Getting Into The Vortex: Guided Meditations CD and User Guide

This guided meditations CD was created and narrated by Jerry and Esther Hicks. Esther is an American inspirational speaker and best-selling author, who has co-authored numerous books and presented numerous workshops on the Law of Attraction. She channels a non-physical group of beings named Abraham.

“Living a better-feeling life really comes down to one thing only: coming into alignment with the Energy of our Source. Abraham reminds us that we are truly Source Energy focused into our physical bodies, and that a conscious Connection to that Broader Non-Physical part of us is necessary if we are to be the joyful Beings that we were born to be. Abraham calls that wonderful alignment Getting into the Vortex.

The CD is a unique recording containing four powerfully guided daily meditations that have been designed to get you into the Vortex of Creation in four basic areas of your life: General Well-Being, Financial Well-Being, Physical Well-Being, and Relationships.”

You can purchase this CD and User Guide on Amazon by following this link:

I have found all of these guided meditations to be very uplifting and effective in helping me to steer my thoughts and my actions into the direction and experience of my well-being, heartfelt desires, and life purpose.

To MW and all of my readers, please feel free to use the “Comments” section below to share favorite guided meditations that you feel would benefit others reading this blog.

During this holiday season and into the new year and beyond, may we all remember to appreciate the gift of Life, and claim our birthright to live our lives fully with heartfelt purpose – in service to our well-being and the well-being of all. Thank you everyone for your continued readership and support.

From the heart,
your Life Coach Maddisen

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Monday, 26 November 2012 02:15

Ask Maddisen >> The Reward of Rough Times

Written by

Dear Maddisen:
I’m having a really rough time. And I’m having an equally tough time staying positive and trusting that I can make certain things in my life better. How do you stay positive when things are not going well?  Thanks, JS

Dear JS,
Thank you for your honesty, and relevant question. I’m sure many of us can relate to what you’re expressing here, I know I can. And I’d like to share an approach that might help.

Life is about experience, and we have a very natural tendency to categorize and judge our experiences as good or bad. I believe that all experiences are relevant, and it is always up to the individual to figure out the relevancy.  Painful or unpleasant experiences are usually much harder to look at as having any relevancy or purpose, however, they might actually contribute the most to our positive growth, reward, and fulfillment.

As much as we may try to elevate or separate ourselves from the forces of nature, the truth is – we humans are part of nature. And just as great mountains are formed by the adverse and favorable conditions of nature, so are humans formed by our adverse and favorable life experiences.  However, we have the advantage of a brain/mind and the power and freedom to choose how we think, feel, and respond to our experiences – the good and the bad ones.

Abraham-Hicks refers to life’s adverse experiences as “contrast”, and suggests that our job is to use the contrast to see and get clear on what we don’t want, so that we can then define, focus on, and manifest what we DO WANT.

Our Brain Is Our Friend
But the key during this whole process of moving through contrasting or negative experiences – is keeping our thoughts and feelings focused on the positive outcome or result that WE WANT.  When we stay focused on what we want, and remain focused on how what we want will feel – then we line up with the thoughts and feelings associated with having the desired experience, thus allowing the birth of the desired experience.

This is also referred to as the law of attraction – the belief that like attracts like, and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can manifest positive or negative experiences. Obviously, most of us prefer positive experiences, so the key, especially during rough times, is to stay focused on the desired experience and the positive feelings that accompany the desired experience.

This might take practice, but it’s what our brain is for – so let’s start using our brain/thoughts to think about our positive, desired experiences – especially during rough times.

How to Stay Positive During a Rough Time
Take 10 minutes to listen to this YouTube recording of Esther and Abraham Hicks speaking about contrast, and specifically how to stay positive and focused on the desired results during a bad or rough time.

Contrast: Getting Desires Manifested More Easily -

And so dear JS and all my readers, knowing that adversity or contrast is meant to serve us and help us define what we DO want in life, let us start using the rough times as an opportunity to focus on the positive feelings that come with the positive experiences we truly want to be having.

I understand that holding positive thoughts and feelings during prolonged tough times may not always be as simple as it sounds. If so, follow these tips:

  1. Tap into and really connect with how much you care, how much you care about your well being and living well, and the well being of all life. Feel how deeply you want to be doing well in all areas of your life. Know that you can at least trust how much you care, you can trust that you want to stay positively focused, and you can trust that you want to make certain things in your life better.
  2. Look at the contrast you are currently dealing with, and ponder how this undesired situation is helping you to define what you do want. Before you go to sleep each night, ask for clarity about what you want and how to get it, and then be aware of 'answers' that come to you in dreams or after you awake.
  3. Write down what you want as clear intentions, using "I am" to start each intention. Read your intentions daily, and even speak them aloud. This may help you to be in a more steady and frequent positive state, and will move all 'creating' systems in the direction of your true desires.

May we remember these facts – that life is for living, and that our brains are programmed to support life – so let’s use our love for life and our thoughts in support of the positive and meaningful lives we came here to experience, and enjoy.

Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Dear Maddisen:
I’m so sure I know how I want my life to be, yet it’s just not looking that way. Some areas are really good, but in others, I feel like my thoughts are keeping me prisoner. How do I get free to be me? MM

Dear MM:
Wow, great question. And I’m prepared with a great answer.

In January, I blogged about Dr. Gay Hendricks and his wonderful book, The Big Leap. Recently, I came across his 14-page article, Love and Enlightenment, which directly addresses your question, and which you can download for free from his website. (details below)

In the article, Love and Enlightenment, Dr. Hendricks shares his powerful insights and solutions that have helped him identify and release thoughts which were previously getting in the way of what he truly desires in his life. Thoughts that were keeping him prisoner. 

He explains how he discovered that the negative results he was continuing to experience with money, for example, were resulting from an “unconscious” intention to be poor. He realized that the actual intention at work in his unconscious mind was “My intention is to be poor.” Once he pinpointed that formerly unconscious intention and stated it aloud consciously, he was then able to release it and replace it with a conscious intention that aligned with his true desire, for example, “My intention is to be financially plentiful.” He shares several real life examples to help readers understand how this can work in our own lives.

Dr. Hendricks also shares that the quickest way to find unconscious intentions is to notice what we complain about repetitively; and states that anything we complain about three or more times is most likely being driven by an unconscious intention. Once we know that, we can then state it as a conscious intention, take a little time to discover when and where we might have picked it up, release it, then replace it with a conscious intention that represents what we truly want.

Summary of steps for this process:

  1. Notice what reality you are repeatedly experiencing that you no longer want to experience, and/or what you’re repeatedly complaining about.
  2. State this undesired, repeating experience as an intention. (For example, “My intention is to be poor.” Or “My intention is to not get what I want in my life.” Or, “My intention is to be overweight.”)
  3. Ask yourself: Given my background, where might I have picked up an intention like that? Take some quiet time to look back on your early life and see where and how that unconscious intention became glued in place.
  4. Ask and answer the question: What would I like instead? Create and put into place a new conscious intention that accurately states what you truly desire to experience.  (For example, "My intention is to be financially plentiful and secure." Or "My intention is to live my life the way I desire it to be." Or "My intention is to have a healthy and fit body.")

This process is explained in more detail in Gay’s article. Here is the link. Use the coupon code “GIFT” to receive it for free.

And so MM and all my readers, read the article, then get to work right away and follow the steps to get what you really want - Free to Be You!

“The magic begins the moment you spot and acknowledge your unconscious intentions. That very act is the main thing you need to do to change the pattern.”  - Gay Hendricks, Ph.D.

Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Sunday, 21 October 2012 05:40

Women, Men, and Sexual Polarity

Written by

Dear Maddisen:
Can you explain ‘sexual polarity’ and how my husband and I can practice it to ignite passion in our marriage?  Thank you, SH

Dear SH:
Yes, I’m glad to support you both in experiencing more loving passion in your marriage.

First, what is polarity? When two magnets with the same poles come near each other, the magnetic fields move in opposite directions. However, when two opposite poles face each other, the fields, and the atoms inside the magnet, line up, thus pulling the magnets toward each other.

Sexual Polarity
Sexual polarity is based on the same concept, except it pertains to the sexual attraction that is naturally created between the two opposite poles – the feminine and masculine poles. Opposite poles attract!

In his wonderful book, It’s a Guy Thing, An Owner’s Manual for Women, intimacy expert David Deida provides his definition of sexual polarity:

“What is Sexual Polarity? How do we maintain love and passion in our intimate relationships for more than a few months? How do we regenerate love and desire for one another year after year? Relationships are great at the beginning. Almost all new relationships are incredibly exciting and passionate. But over time something seems to happen. Things change.
There is a secret to maintaining the passion in emotional, sexual relationships. In moments of attraction and passion, there is an active principle called ‘sexual polarity.’ One individual plays the strong masculine pole and one individual plays the strong feminine pole. This creates sexual polarity – an almost irresistible attraction between two people.
The principle of polarity is true in all emotional and sexual relationships, homosexual as well as heterosexual. In fact, we find polarity in all nature. The masculine and feminine energies are like positive and negative electrical or magnetic qualities. If you have two magnets and put their north and south poles together, they attract each other. Opposite poles attract. But when you flip one magnet around and try to push the poles together, they repel. Like poles repel. This same principle of polarity also applies to intimate relationships.”

I couldn’t say it better than David! And highly recommend that women (and men) read this book. I also recommend his book, The Way of the Superior Man, which is written for men, and a very informative read for women. In his teachings, David also talks about how we all possess both masculine and feminine essences, and how we move in and out of both depending on our nature, our upbringing, and the life situations we're in that may require more or less of the feminine and masculine behaviors.

Women and Men Are Not Alike – Let’s Embrace Our Differences!
You see, it’s actually very healthy that women and men are opposite or very different from each other. That is what creates the attraction between us, and the sexual passion.

And so, SH, if this makes sense to you, take a closer look at how you and your husband do your dance of relationship with each other. Have you become too much the same as one another? Do you need to reclaim and express more of your feminine essence qualities, and he more of his masculine essence qualities?  

The feminine is the force of life and source of inspiration. The feminine moves in all directions while the masculine moves in one direction. The feminine needs the masculine to give it direction, focus and purpose. The masculine needs the energy of the feminine to give it drive and passion. The masculine and the feminine need each other. And the oneness we create is like the yin and yang that represent duality forming a whole.

If you both truly want to get your passion back, and you feel you can do it on your own without coaching assistance, read David Deida’s books, and check out his website to see if he’s doing any workshops. I’ve attended one of his workshops, and it was life-changing for me in a very positive way. It helped me to get into a practice of honoring and expressing more of my feminine essence qualities, and has definitely added snap, crackle, and pop to my loving relationships.

I may not always understand men (!), but I now get how important it is that we honor our differences, and ultimately enjoy the healthy electricity caused by them. In accepting our core differences, it has helped me to feel the bliss of oneness in relationship with the masculine, which was missing for me in the past when I insisted on treating men more like girlfriends!  Here’s to the snap, crackle, and pop of healthy and passionate sexual polarity in our loving relationships!

Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Monday, 01 October 2012 19:32

The October ‘Thank You’ Challenge

Written by

Dear Maddisen:
I hear people talking about being grateful and how that helps attract abundance. All sounds too theoretical to me. Your thoughts? Thank you, ML

Dear ML:
Great question. And notice how it’s working already – you asked for my thoughts, said thank you, and now I’m responding with my abundantly caring ideas and support! I would love for you to receive the positive abundance you desire.

There are many books and suggested approaches for attracting positive abundance – whether the abundance refers to money, love, success, or anything that has beneficial meaning and that we'd like plenty of.  I agree with the idea that thinking, feeling, and expressing genuine gratitude on a regular basis is a powerful way to attract increased positive experiences in our lives.

So, in answer to your request ML, for a more practical way to attract abundance, I’m suggesting that you practice the following easy and fun methods for the month of October. I invite everyone reading to practice this as well. I’ll be doing it!

The October “Thank You” Challenge

You’ll need a notepad, pen or pencil, and your voice.

Step 1 – Write Thank You!
Every day, starting today, write down 10 things in your life you are thankful for. If you can’t think of anything you’re grateful or thankful for, just write the words “thank you”.

For example:
1.    Thank you for my loving community.
2.    Thank you for my sisters.
3.    Thank you for the challenges I had this summer.
4.    Thank you for my friend Andrea.
5.    Thank you for my friend Jessie.
6.    Thank you for my coaching clients.
7.    Thank you for my readers.
8.    Thank you for the hummingbirds in my yard.
9.    Thank you for the date who disappeared without telling me why.
10.  Thank you for my dance class.

Notice how this list also contains what might be considered negative experiences (#3 and #9). All experiences are for our learning and growth, so if you really want to take it up a notch, you can include positive AND what appear to be negative experiences on your ‘thank you’ list. And you don’t have to justify or know why, just say "thank you".

As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) was an American essayist, lecturer, and poet.

OR, if you can’t or don’t want to list what you’re thankful for, just write "Thank you" ten times, or more!  It will get you in the habit of saying thank you and feeling thankful, which can attract positive experiences to you.

For example:
1.    Thank you
2.    Thank you
3.    Thank you
4.    Thank you
5.    Thank you
6.    Thank you
7.    Thank you
8.    Thank you
9.    Thank you
10.  Thank you

Step 2 – Say Thank You!
Starting today, say "thank you" at least 10 times every day. Say it out loud.

For example, when you’re on the phone, with a friend, family, or business associate, in a restaurant, grocery store, coffee shop, in the shower, in your yard, in your car, anywhere, with anyone, or alone – say "thank you" aloud.

I went out for breakfast yesterday, and I must have said "thank you" at least 10 times by the time I left the restaurant – to the waitress, the fellow who brought us water and refilled our coffee, the hostess, the manager, etc. I was genuine, it made me feel good, and I could see how good it made the recipients feel. They felt appreciated.

It’s so easy to say "thank you". Start doing it more often, and notice how good it feels, AND how good it makes others feel. And be genuine about it – really feel thankful for the many blessings – big and small – that happen every day in your life. Include thank you's in your emails and texts too!

And yes, you can even say "thank you" for challenging experiences. That’s not saying we should allow ourselves to be hurt or abused, but rather to acknowledge that we can use all experiences for our growth and betterment. Always asking, how can I use this experience – good or bad – to love and care for myself even more?

This positive practice of saying “Thank You” for life is similar to regularly saying “Yes” to life. The 2008 film Yes Man starring Jim Carrey, is an exaggerated but wonderfully inspiring story of what happens when we stop saying “no” to the positive abundance of living. I recommend watching this movie for fun and inspiration!

For the next month, practice writing, speaking, and feeling thankful for the life you have been given.  Try on an attitude of gratitude, and notice if this attracts to you an increase in the positive experiences you desire.  And besides, it’s autumn – the perfect time to harvest our bounty!


“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.”  - Meister Eckhart

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

Thank you!
Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Monday, 17 September 2012 18:04

I Need Your Love – Is That True? / Byron Katie

Written by

Dear Readers:
Have you been feeling exhausted, discouraged, or confused about love? Or like you’re on an endless road of seeking love, approval, and appreciation – but not receiving what your heart seems to long for and what you are ready to give? If any of this is true for you, I have a tool I’d like to share.

First, know that you are not alone. I hear this story often from clients and friends. And I’ve had the same experience myself. In fact, I was feeling a bit stuck in this area recently, and then reminded myself to practice a simple but very powerful process that I came across several years ago when I was going through divorce.

Repeat after me – I AM LOVE
Love is such a strong force. We all need love. But the truth is – we ARE love, and love sources from within us.

Nonetheless, we’re not alone here on the planet! We’re here with family, friends, lovers, colleagues, people we don’t understand, people we don’t like, etc. So how do we do the dance of love with those we like and those we don’t like, without getting confused, angry, bitter, hurt, and discouraged? How can we do the dance of love in this world in a way that feels wonderful and fulfilling?

By starting with the basic premise that YOU ARE LOVE. And that LOVE sources from within you.

Read Byron Katie’s book – “I Need Your Love – Is That True?”
This book is an easy read, yet packed with the best advice available about love, and how to give and receive love in a very healthy and satisfying way. Think of it as a user’s guide to love.

Here are two excerpts from Katie’s introduction:
“Everyone agrees that love is wonderful, except when it’s terrible. People spend their whole lives tantalized by love – seeking it, trying to hold on to it, or trying to get over it. Not far behind love, as major preoccupations, come approval and appreciation…”

“This book takes a close look at what works and what doesn’t in the quest for love and approval. It will help you find a way to be happier in love and more effective in all your relationships without being manipulative or deceptive in any way.”

All true.

Practice Byron Katie’s process – “The Work”
In her book, Byron Katie teaches how to do “The Work”, which is her simple process of inquiry that shows you how to identify, question, and reframe thoughts that are causing you to suffer.

The Work consists of 4 questions and a ‘turnaround’. I also refer to the turnaround as a way of reframing thoughts into empowering beliefs.

Question 1: Is it true?
Question 2: Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
Question 3: How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?

Turn the thought around. Find at least 3 specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true for you in this situation.

The thought causing suffering: “I need a man to feel complete.”

Is it true?
It feels true. Because when I’m with a man I feel complete, and when I’m alone, I feel lonely and sad, and like a misfit.

Can you absolutely know it’s true?
Well, it seems natural that we’re here to be in partnership, to experience blissful love, for reproductive reasons, and to support each other in life and share life’s experiences.

How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
I feel lonely, and like I’m doing something wrong.

Who would you be without the thought?
I’d feel more free, and whole, and complete - as me. Empowered by and expressing my own talents, knowledge, and resourcefulness.

Turn the thought around:
1. A man needs me to feel complete.
2. I can choose to feel anything I want.
3. I need Me to feel complete. When I feel complete, then nothing is missing. I am whole. I really enjoy the company of a good man, but on my own – I am complete.

Try this on your own now. Pick a thought or belief in your own life that’s causing you to suffer, and do The Work step-by-step.

If you want more examples, Byron’s book is filled with relevant examples from her clients’ lives.
In addition to the book, you can visit her website:

Love is different from need, and this book along with “The Work” process may greatly support you in moving into feeling more wonderful and fulfilled with love – in every area of your life. Start repeating your daily mantra, “I am love.”

Your Life Coach,

Quotes from Byron’s book:

“It’s not your job to understand me – it’s mine.”

“The voice within is what I’m married to. All marriage is a metaphor for that marriage. My lover is the place inside me where an honest yes or no comes from. That’s my true partner. It’s always there. And to tell you yes when my integrity says no is to divorce that partner.”

“Thinking that people are supposed to do anything other than what they are is like saying that the tree over there should be the sky. I investigated that and found freedom.”

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Friday, 31 August 2012 19:46

The Secret to Reaching Your Goals

Written by

Greetings Everyone!

Here are some questions people have asked me about goals:
•    Do you have a favorite system for setting and achieving your goals?
•    How do you know if you’re being realistic about what you can achieve?
•    How do you deeply want something without being attached to the outcome?
•    Does it help to have support reaching your goals?

These are excellent questions and I’ll address them in this blog. There are numerous methods for setting and achieving goals.  One of my favorites that I use and teach others how to use – is a 7-step program that includes actions AND support.


1.    Choose a goal that is your desired REALITY, has value to you, and excites you
2.    Be honest with yourself and make your goal ACHIEVABLE
3.    Make your goal SPECIFIC and write it down
4.    Set up a way to MEASURE and record your progress
5.    Set a TIME or deadline by when you wish to achieve your goal
6.    SHARE your goal with a trusted friend
7.    Send a WEEKLY PROGRESS REPORT to that same trusted friend

Here’s a little more detail about each step. (This approach is more or less a hybrid of the SMART method and psychology professor Dr. Gail Matthews’ system.)

Choose a goal that represents a desired REALITY that has great value and meaning for you, and which inspires life-affirming emotions

Each goal must be important and matter to you. It should have value and meaning for you. I call these my ‘heartfelt goals’, and consider them to be the breadcrumbs that guide me along my life path. I also add the following sentence to all of my goals: “This or something better now manifests for me in totally satisfying and harmonious ways for my highest good and the highest good of all concerned.”

For example:  I had a strong desire to start writing a book about my midlife experiences of the past 5 years. This desire had great value and meaning to me.

Be honest with yourself and make your goal ACHIEVABLE
Each goal must be realistic and attainable. One guideline is to ask yourself if reaching your goal is at least 50% believable to you. Honestly assess your skills, resources, and timeframes – to determine if you can realistically reach this goal.

For example:  To write my book, I decided to enroll in the 90 Day Novel course taught by Alan Watt. The goal of the course is to complete a ‘first draft’ in 90 days. However, when I was honest with myself about what I might actually complete in the 90 days, I decided it was more realistic and achievable that I would complete the first outline and probably not the first draft – so I set a goal of completing a first outline of my midlife memoir.

Make your goal SPECIFIC and write it down
Each goal must be very clear and very specific, and you must write it down where you can see and read it. I strongly recommend setting up a 3-ring binder that is dedicated to your goals. With a 3-ring binder as opposed to a spiral bound notebook, you can add, delete, and move pages as needed.

For example, in my binder, I wrote down this goal: "My intention is to write an outline of my midlife memoir in 90 days, and I will do so by enrolling and participating in the 90 Day Novel course with Alan Watt."

Set up a way to MEASURE and record your progress
Set up a concrete way of measuring your progress toward achieving the goal. And use your 3-ring binder to record and track your progress. You can use the binder as a journal as well, to write down ideas, thoughts, etc., as you take actions toward the goal.

For example: "I will write for 1-2 hours, 5-7 days per week, attend the weekly teleclasses, and complete every writing assignment. And I will file and log all of this in my 3-ring binder that I’ve created specifically for this class and my goals."

Set a TIME or deadline by when you wish to achieve your goal
Each goal needs a target date or deadline by when you aim to achieve it. When would you like to reach this goal?

For example: I enrolled in the 90 Day Novel course because I knew it would give me not only a structure but also deadlines and a timeframe of 90 days in which to complete my first outline of my midlife memoir. In my binder, I entered the start date and end date of the class, with the end date being my deadline for completing my outline.

Share your goal with a trusted friend
Once you have a clear and achievable goal plan, share all of the details with a trusted friend. You might want to check with your friend in advance to be sure he or she is very interested in being a ‘support witness’ to your goal program. Then it’s as easy as giving them a printed copy or sending them an email with your program. You are simply sharing your goals with this friend. You are not seeking their advice or opinions – just a friendly witness.

For example: I have a friend who had taken the 90 Day Novel class in the past, so she became my trusted support witness.

Send a weekly progress report to that same trusted friend
Send a weekly progress report, for example via email, to your trusted friend, reporting on your overall progress and perhaps providing a more detailed summary of your status with the steps. This step is for YOU, and you really only need this friend to receive and acknowledge receiving your report. You’re not looking for their feedback or suggestions. However, if your trusted friend wants to send back a response with a brief positive note of receipt and encouragement, that’s fine too.

For example: I sent this friend a short email each week with my progress report. She always sent a positive and supportive response, even if very brief – like “Received it Maddisen! Good work girl!”


Envision and feel yourself experiencing your goals
Teachers like Abraham-Hicks suggest that ‘feeling’ as if our goals are already achieved puts us in the vibration or frequency of the desired reality, thus moving us into the actual reality itself.  In your binder, you can write down the feelings and qualities you’ll experience when you reach your goal. You can write down mini-scenarios too, in the present tense, which describe the goal as if you are living it. I get into this more in my goals workshop.

Again, the key here is to have an achievable and realistic ‘feeling’ and even vision of the desired goal or end result – without getting too grandiose or exaggerated. Remember Step #2, the goal must be achievable, especially within the given timeframe and your skills and resources.

Let go of attachment to the outcome
It’s more important to be present in the moment, and not get too hung up on what your life will exactly look like when your goal is achieved. Because the result may not look exactly like you pictured it to be! And that’s why it’s important to stay committed to the feelings associated with your goal more than the outcome, and to stay focused on the 7 steps and your actions that support them.

Follow EVERY step of this program, ALL 7 STEPS. Definitely DO NOT leave out steps #6 and #7. When we speak our goals out loud to the world, or in this case, in writing with a trusted friend, their witnessing can be extremely powerful in assisting the manifestation of your goals.

To read a short study about the effectiveness of steps #6 and #7, which was conducted by psychology professor Dr. Gail Matthews, click here:

Dr. Matthew’s study showed that people who wrote down their goals, shared this information with a friend, and sent weekly updates to that friend – were on average 33% more successful in accomplishing their stated goals than those who merely formulated goals in their minds.

Honor yourself, and make time to begin this 7-step program of giving life to your super important goals. Set up your 3-ring binder and get going now!

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.” – Albert Einstein

Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.”  – E. Joseph Cossman

If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else.”  – Yogi Berra

Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Dear Readers:
Back in July, a reader wrote in about her changing skin and the appearance of unwanted cellulite. I shared one of the techniques I use to reduce cellulite, which is foam rolling. I like foam rolling for several reasons – it appears to smooth out my skin, it’s like getting a deep tissue massage, and it supports healthy blood and lymphatic circulation. I also mentioned that I’d blog about a few more techniques I’m using in addition to the rolling. In this blog, I’ll talk about Carole Maggio’s “No Lipo Lipo”, which is another technique I practice to minimize and erase cellulite.

Carole Maggio’s “No Lipo Lipo” to Reduce Cellulite

For about 10 years, I’ve been practicing Carole Maggio’s “Facercise” program (see my blog, “Bye Bye Droopy Face & Neck”). A few months ago, I began following her program for skin exfoliation, using her sisal loofah mitt and strap to slow down and smooth out crepe paper skin.

Then I got interested in her “No Lipo Lipo” program.  I wanted to go to her Day Spa in Redondo Beach for the treatments, but it soon became apparent that this might be almost impossible because of my busy schedule and the long commute from where I live to Carole’s spa.

The good news is that Carole offers a do-it-yourself “No Lipo Lipo” training program on DVD, for only $39.95 plus shipping!  I admit I was a bit hesitant to do this, well lazy is more like it! But I ordered it, and once I watched the DVD and read her handy and short instruction sheets, I realized that it would not be difficult at all to do on my own, and that it wouldn’t take long to do either.

Carole provides exact, step-by-step instructions in the DVD. Basically, you can step in the bathtub or shower without turning on the water, do the dry brushing first with the loofahs, then apply the vitamin E oil (which you can purchase from Carole too if you like), and do the “No Lipo Lipo” deep knuckle massage as instructed on her DVD! And then shower or bathe!

I’ve been doing it, and I REALLY like how it feels and how much firmer and toned my skin is getting.

From Carole’s website:

The No Lipo Lipo® system incorporates dry skin brushing with a deep knuckle-type treatment. Dry brushing stimulates circulation, exfoliates and removes dead skin cells, tones, tightens and lifts the underlying muscles and smoothes the skin in the process. While dry brushing is fairly new in the U.S., the Europeans have been successfully using the technique since the 1930’s. The deep knuckle-type “No Lipo Lipo” treatment promotes the breakdown of fatty cellulite deposits and encourages toxins to be flushed from the system. This technique employs strong, upward sweeping motions to reverse gravity, tighten skin and reduce inches. Many of Carole’s clients are amazed how they are also able to eliminate crinkly “menopausal” skin with this amazing system.

And in her spa, Carole shares that the average inch loss is 15 inches in 5 weeks, at 2 sessions per week. Carole’s website is:

Remember, aging is a natural phase of life, and no one is exempt from it!  Whether you’re in your 20’s or your 60’s – you have a physical body – and it will change over time!  The good news is that we all have the choice to continuously educate ourselves and take actions to support our health and physical fitness – and this option is available to all of us at every age!

Knuckle On!!!

Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Tuesday, 31 July 2012 22:09

Love Your Self So That You Can Love Others

Written by

Dear Maddisen:
I have a pretty successful fitness training business, but I think it’s time for me to grow and get stronger inside. I give away too much at my own expense with clients and in my personal life. Like I just started seeing a guy I’m really interested in and I really want something long term, but I don’t think he wants the same thing, but likes the sex, and I’m just hanging in there at my own expense. How do I get stronger inside but keep my loving nature?  Thanks, AD

Dear AD:
Thank you for this great question. I commend you for unveiling and seeing this formerly unconscious pattern that has been disturbing your inner peace and keeping you from getting what your heart desires in these areas of your life.

I have a few ideas I hope will support you in ending the pattern of giving your self away at your own expense, while maintaining and even deepening your naturally loving nature.

In cases like this, people might asses that you’re being ‘over-responsible’ or ‘looking for approval’ or having ‘control issues’, but these judgments often don’t solve anything! On the contrary, these labels usually make us feel like there is something wrong with us, which may only compound the problem! And then the self-criticism party begins! So, let’s look at some solutions for you!

Super Great News and Solutions

The super great news is that you’ve ousted the non-supportive pattern from your unconscious into your conscious awareness, which now empowers you to change the pattern and replace it with a healthy pattern of behaving as your own greatest ally and supporter – first – and in all areas of your life, including work and in relationships with the masculine.

And I can assure you that you do not have to sacrifice love to be strong! In fact, I believe that great strength can only have its roots in love, a genuine love and respect for all of life, starting with the Self. And this is a love that does not judge or have to be right or wrong – its sole purpose is to support and enhance the well being of ourselves, others, and all of nature and the universe.

But here’s the key: love and strength must be rooted in your Self first – your central command center, your home base.

So when I feel like I’m losing connection, giving myself away, and feeling unhappy, I usually stop right where I am, briefly close my eyes, take a few deep breaths, center my Self in my self, check in with and clarify my feelings and heartfelt desire(s) in the situation – and then, I respond – from a centered and caring place.

And if I don’t take that time, but rather react out of hurt or self defense, or give myself away to the will of someone else knowing it doesn’t feel right for me, then as soon as possible, I forgive myself for judging myself and the other person, center my Self back in my self, and start fresh. Sometimes that may involve having another conversation with someone to speak my truth and seek mutual resolution, and sometimes that may involve no response and just a clear knowing and honoring of what is right for my well being. Sometimes, strong firmness is required, but it will always be most powerful when done from a place of self-respect, with no need to diminish or hurt others.

But always, always, give yourself the dignity of first checking in with central command – your Self – and getting clear on what is best for your well being.

In the case of the fellow you’re seeing, AD, get clear about the qualities you embody, get clear about the qualities you wish to embody in relationship with your man, and get clear about the qualities you wish for your man to embody. If you see alignment, you may choose to continue with him with the agreement that you will dance with him from your center, with self-honoring and self-loving intentions, actions, and words. If you do not see alignment, and you are not experiencing what your heart desires, then you will have to make a self-honoring and self-respectful decision, which may involve an honest conversation that improves things, or it may even mean saying goodbye to him.

And so, dear AD, allow yourself to tune into your Self, your central command, your center, and act from that place. Be your own greatest friend and loving supporter – in thought, intention, action, and words – and from this place, you will no longer have to give yourself away at work, or with anyone who is a part of your life. Practice, practice, practice this until it becomes a healthy self-loving habit. As a result, not only will you continuously deepen in loving your Self, but you will also most likely notice a continuous deepening in your love for others and all of life.

Take loving care of your Self first, so that you have the strength to do it for others.

Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Dear Readers,
Have you been yearning to release attachment to story, blame, shame, guilt, judgment, and control?  Would you like to let go of identifying with and holding onto issues, and come home to your loving presence and more inner peace? Have you been looking for a safe and loving environment in which to do this?

This is what Dr. Leonard Laskow will facilitate when he makes a rare personal appearance here in Los Angeles on Saturday August 11th for his one day workshop:

Forgiveness Day – With Leonard Laskow M.D.
A Day For-Giving Yourself Love, Freedom, and Peace

With his powerful Holoenergetic® Healing “Forgiveness” process, Dr. Laskow makes it possible to facilitate the healing of difficult issues. I have had the privilege of working with Dr. Laskow as a client and student, and can personally attest to the powerful healing impact of his loving processes, which he is training me to use with my clients.

What is Holoenergetic® Healing?
Holoenergetic® Healing involves healing with the energy of the whole, not just parts of ourselves, not just the symptoms, but healing the body and mind, and bringing the body and mind back to its natural state of wholeness and wellness.

Who is Dr. Leonard Laskow?
Leonard Laskow M.D. is a Stanford-trained physician who developed Holoenergetics and the author of “Healing with Love”. He has studied and researched the healing power of love for more than 30 years. Dr. Laskow is a consultant in Behavioral and Energy medicine in Ashland, Oregon and gives seminars at universities, medical centers, and holistic institutes internationally.
You can visit his website at:

Learn the Forgiveness Process
On August 11th, choose to release attachment to story, blame, shame, guilt, judgment, and control.  Let go of identification with issues and come home to loving presence through the profound Holoenergetic Forgiveness Process.

Learn and practice the Forgiveness Process so that you can directly experience the loving presence that you are beyond the conditioning and concepts of who you think you are.

Treat yourself to a day of healing and joy with Dr. Leonard Laskow!

Early Registration (by July 21): $110.00
Registration (after July 21): $130.00

To Register and for details about the workshop:
Contact or call (541) 535-0099.

As Dr. Laskow has wisely stated, “Despite the appearance of conflict, humanity is experiencing an acceleration of the awakening process. Right now it is possible to realize your true nature. To the extent that we bring ourselves into wholeness, we’ve been healed.”

Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Dear Maddisen:
My skin is changing so much and so fast as I get older, and it’s freaking me out. I have cellulite on my legs and butt, and my skin is looking like crepe paper. I sit a lot at work. I exercise regularly and eat healthy, but I don’t think that’s enough anymore. Please help! Thanks, JN

Dear JN,
I know exactly what you’re talking about. I’ve been experiencing changes like this too. And as I continue to research and learn more, I have found several effective solutions that are natural and don’t involve surgery or drugs, and that actually enhance body health. In this week’s blog, I’ll share what I’ve been learning about Foam Rollers as a method for reducing cellulite. Then over the next weeks, I’ll blog about a few more techniques I’m using in addition to the rolling.

Our Skin: 4 Fun Facts

  1. Skin is the largest organ in the human body.
  2. Skin is made up of three layers: epidermis, dermis, and hypodermis (or subcutaneous tissue).
  3. Skin sheds thousands of skin cells every minute.
  4. Skin renews itself about every 14-30 days.


Foam Rolling to Reduce Cellulite

Foam rolling is a form of Self-Myofascial Release Therapy (SMRT). The sole purpose of foam rolling is to break down adhesions and scar tissue that form on the soft tissues after repetitive use. What happens as a result of foam rolling can be compared to getting a deep tissue massage.  It’s a great way to relax and stretch our muscles and have greater range of motion, and it can improve and support healthy blood and lymphatic circulation.

Foam roller exercises may also reduce cellulite by increasing circulation and stretching connective tissue, factors that could remove toxins and fluid retention that contribute to cellulite.

Video Demonstration

In my search for easy-to-do specific instructions and demonstrations, I came across this short and helpful video on the “gosleevelessblog”, with exact instructions for foam rolling to reduce cellulite. It’s by Coach Rylan and is about 7 minutes long. It’s worth watching, so check it out:

In his video, Coach Rylan explains how he was originally using foam rolling with clients primarily for rehab purposes, until they also started reporting a visible reduction in cellulite and improved skin tone. To see noticeable improvements, he recommends foam rolling the cellulite areas 5-7 days per week for about two to three weeks, spending about 3-5 minutes on each muscle group. Once one achieves the desired results, I’m estimating the rolling should be kept up a few days a week to maintain the skin’s vital appearance. Overall, the foam rolling is so easy to do! For example, you can roll while watching your favorite TV shows at night in your living or bedroom. I do it then, and during the day when I need to take a break from sitting at my desk.

Vibrant & Healthy Skin

There are plenty of ways to purchase a foam roller. You can buy them online or at a local sporting goods store. They come in different sizes and grades of firmness.  I purchased my foam roller a few years ago from my chiropractor, for the purpose of stretching out and relaxing my thighs.

Since I started reading about its use for potentially reducing cellulite, I’ve been rolling away daily. Plus, I’ve incorporated a few other techniques in addition to the rolling, which I believe will support smoother and firmer skin.

For your mental and emotional care, remember that aging is a natural phase of life, and that no one is exempt from it! It’s the game we signed up for – the game of Life! And whether you’re 20 or 50 – you have a physical body – and it will change over time! The good news is that we all have the choice to continuously educate ourselves and take actions to support our good health and physical fitness – and this option is available to all of us at every age!

Be kind and caring with yourselves. If you have any special concerns or restrictions, consult with your health practitioner. Practice self forgiveness as needed. And in the following weeks, I’ll blog about several other techniques in my program for vibrant and healthy skin, which I’m doing in addition to foam rolling.

Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Wednesday, 27 June 2012 21:09

Mom's Scrumptious Birthday Cake Recipe!

Written by

Dear Readers:
My Mom had a birthday this week – 85 orbits around the sun. She’s always been very special to me. Since I was a young girl, Mom always supported my healthy pursuits, learning, creativity, and my overall well-being. And in my teens, she strongly encouraged me to stay on my path of higher education. I did just that, and have dedicated both my B.S. and M.A. degrees to her. The Ph.D. will be dedicated to Mom as well.

Mom grew up in greater NYC, and was studying opera at Julliard in the 1940’s until she met my Dad. Once he proposed marriage, Mom left school and settled into her long life as a wife, mother, and grandmother. She continued to sing in the local choir in CT where we eventually lived, played piano, became a full-time librarian, was an avid reader, and continued her education in the evenings, all while being a super engaged and busy mom, and my confidante. She was also a great cook and an award-winning baker, and very talented as a seamstress and with all types of needlework.

The photo above is Mom at her wedding in 1947 in NYC, singing at her reception - a woman of beauty, style, and grace.

With the dementia deepening, Mom isn’t as active as she used to be, but still has one of the sunniest dispositions on Earth, and is always happy to hear from me and my sisters. She and I had a fantastic time dancing together at my sister’s wedding last June. She didn’t miss a step.

One of Mom’s yummiest cake recipes, and a favorite for her birthday (and mine), is her Filigree Chocolate Devil’s Food Cake. So, I’m sharing it with you!

Mom’s Filigree Chocolate Devil’s Food Cake
Dry ingredients:
1 ¼ cups sugar
½ cup cocoa
1 ¼ tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
¼ tsp. cream of tarter
2/3 cup shortening (I use half butter & half shortening)

Wet ingredients:
1 cup whole milk
1 tsp. pure vanilla flavoring
2 eggs, unbeaten


Sift the dry ingredients into mixing bowl. Drop in the shortening, and about 2/3 of the milk, then vanilla, and beat.  Scrape the bowl often. Add the eggs, beat again, then add remaining milk, beat again.

Bake at 350 degrees for 30-40 minutes.
Cool on cake racks.

Mom’s Sugar Icing
Beat together:
¾ box confectioner’s sugar
1 stick butter
1 tsp. almond flavoring
Slowly adding whole milk until you get the right thickness.

Ice the cake and decorate! Happy Birthday!

Bon appétit!

Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

Dear Readers:
This week, I have a new challenge for everyone. I challenge you to use “I” language. If you’re not sure what the heck I’m talking about, read on – this is good stuff.

What does it mean to use “I” language?  Simply, it means when we talk to others we use “I” when speaking about ourselves, and not “you”.

Benefits of “I” Language
For example, here’s someone sharing about their divorce before learning to use “I” language:
“Divorce is so difficult. You give so much, and then you find out it wasn’t appreciated. It makes you feel hopeless and like you don’t want to trust anyone again.”

In this case, “you” language can be a way of denying or not owning our own experience. And it takes away the deeper benefits, the healing and life lessons that “I” language directly provides.

Here’s the same person sharing the same story, using “I” language:
“My divorce was so difficult. I gave so much, and then I found out it wasn’t appreciated. It makes me feel hopeless and like I don’t want to trust anyone again.”

“I” language allows the person to more fully experience the truth of their situation, which can lead to faster healing.

Plus, if you’re speaking about your own experience, you should refer to yourself and not the other person! It’s your experience, not theirs! Using “I” language is a way of facing our own experiences.

Here’s another example. Read the “you” and “I” statements out loud.

“You” language:
“When you respect and honor and take care of yourself, you are more able to do the same for others.”

“I” language:
“When I respect and honor and take care of myself, I am more able to do the same for others.”

Using “I” Language in Conflicts
Another great use of “I” language is in conflicts, especially in business or marriage partnerships.

For example, here’s a couple in conflict using “you” language.
“You said we’d do this together, but you never take out the garbage or clean up around here. Can’t you just do what you say you’ll do? You are just like my ex.”

This type of “you” language can put your partner on the defensive immediately, and be hurtful. Not the best way to resolve the issue.

Here’s the same person using “I” language:
“I’m the only one whose been cleaning and taking out the garbage. I thought we agreed to do this together. I love you and I wish we could work this out.”

“I” Language Empowers Us
“I” language is ownership language. It reinforces our responsibility for our inner choices and outer actions, and reinforces that we have dominion over what we feel and how we respond, especially in challenging emotional situations. In summary, it empowers us and can even heal us.

Try stating the previous paragraph using “I” language!
“I” language is ownership language. It reinforces my responsibility for my inner choices and outer actions and reinforces that I have dominion over what I feel and how I respond, especially in challenging emotional situations. In summary, it empowers me and can even heal me.

That’s your challenge this week! Start using “I” language instead of “you” language when you are talking about yourself and your own experiences.

As the poet Robert Frost wisely stated, “The best way out is always through.” And “I” language is a direct way of getting us through.

Your Life Coach,

Copyright 2012 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.

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