We have the freedom to choose how we respond and how we treat or ‘hold’ ourselves as we navigate experiences like this. Many if not most of us have developed a pattern of believing that we are victims of our feelings and reactions, and the truth is – we are not. We may not have control over the way others behave or act, but we do have control over the way we respond to others and life with our thoughts, our emotions, and our actions. It’s our natural, built-in ‘response-ability’.
Here’s a priceless morsel of wisdom I learned from my teachers Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick: How you treat yourself as you go through issues, IS the issue. So, be very kind to yourself as you take steps to break the old pattern of forgetting that you have the freedom to choose better feelings and more empowering and positive thoughts.
To assist yourself in getting unstuck from the negative emotions, move into self forgiveness. Start with the expression: "I forgive myself for judging myself for..." or "I forgive myself for judging myself as...", and then add whatever the judgments are. For example, “I forgive myself for judging myself for feeling depressed and stuck.” Or, “I forgive myself for judging myself as unworthy.” Be thorough with self forgiveness, and then complete it with “Because the truth is…” For example, “Because the truth is I want to feel better.” Or, “Because the truth is I want to live a fulfilling life.” (See my 2-part blog on Self Forgiveness for more information.)
And to keep yourself moving forward, repeat this: “I am choosing to feel better not bitter.”
Life is a full and mysterious journey. You’re here, you’re alive. Let yourself experience your life with self respect and respect for others. Practice your innate response-ability. Get out of the trunk and get back into the driver’s seat. You can choose to feel better, not bitter.
Your Life Coach, Maddisen
Copyright 2010 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.