Dear MB, What a great question – thank you for asking it here. Yes, I have something in my toolbox for you! This pattern is your direct line to the answer and the relief you seek.
Most likely, that particular pattern has been operating automatically and unconsciously in your life, making it difficult to see. In fact, you may have come to believe that these feelings are who you are. Here’s the good news: this pattern, these feelings, are NOT WHO YOU ARE, and you can interrupt and end this pattern with the help of a conscious and super simple tool called the Pattern Buster Journal.
The Behavior Pattern Buster Journal
I learned about pattern journaling at the University of Santa Monica, where I received my Masters in Psychology, and I have been using this tool ever since, specifically when I start noticing a thought or behavioral pattern that I’m repeating AND that is causing me to suffer and feel unhappy or unbalanced.
The pattern journal is where you identify and write about any pattern (mental, emotional, behavioral, physical) that you are noticing in your own life. It is an excellent method for bringing your awareness to areas in your life that may need healing, improvement, or change.
21 Days to Freedom
Get a journal or notepad. Write in your pattern journal in the morning or at the end of each day. Either time is fine, as long as you write in your pattern journal once a day for 21 days. I prefer to write in my pattern journal at the end of the day before sleep. That way I can review my day and write about when and how the pattern showed up, how I felt, etc., while it’s still fresh in my mind, instead of waiting until the next morning when I may forget the details. I tend to work with one pattern at at time.
The pattern journal is meant to serve your well being, and is not meant for criticism or blame. If you feel self judgment or criticism coming up, practice Self Forgiveness, and then keep moving onward and upward.
Why It Works
Pattern journaling has a high success rate for breaking non-supportive patterns because it’s a direct method for bringing our awareness and consciousness to thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that we were previously not conscious of and simply didn’t see.
Pattern journaling is how we ‘out’ patterns! It’s like the formerly submerged pattern pops up to the surface where you can see it, and then release it for good! The light of your conscious awareness melts the formerly submerged iceberg!
Identifying a pattern and then writing it down and describing it in detail, along with how it makes you feel or what you noticed, can be super empowering and enlightening, and can stop a pattern dead in its tracks. This is all because you bring your awareness to it, which supports you in then having conscious dominion over how you want to move forward in a more positive and life affirming way.
Identifying a problem can be half the battle, and once we identify a problem, we’ve already begun solving it and setting the wheels of resolution and liberation into motion. Honestly, sometimes just identifying a pattern causes it to disappear altogether.
Try It, You’ll Love It
I love pattern journaling. Sometimes I’m shocked at what I’ve been thinking or how I’ve been repeating negative patterns, and am always very relieved when I can say goodbye to a pattern that I was formerly a prisoner of. We can make ourselves happy. In fact, true happiness always begins inside of us. And when we express this, we often inspire others to do the same.
And so MB and all my readers, the tool I recommend for breaking and ending an unwanted pattern is the pattern buster journal, and doing it for 21 days. And do this cycle anytime for any pattern you want to surface, clearly identify, and release.
In addition MB, consider reaching outside of your comfort zone to support new and healthy patterns of the joy you really want as a new pattern. For example, take a stand-up comedy or comedy improv class, or enroll in a laughter yoga class. Yes, that’s correct – there is such a thing – Laughter Yoga! Google it to find a class or group near you. I know a woman who started taking laughter yoga for some of the same reasons you shared, MB, and I laugh just hearing about the exercises she does with her laughter yoga group. Let that sadness go! It’s not you!
Your Life Coach, Maddisen
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – C.G. Jung
“Being unconscious is the ultimate disability.” – Jessa Gamble
“A life lived of choice is a life of conscious action. A life lived of chance is a life of unconscious creation.” – Neale Donald Walsch
Copyright 2015 Maddisen K. Krown M.A.