I have a long-distance relationship with my first boyfriend who also gave me my first kiss a month ago. My spiritual beliefs are strong, he’s agreed to accept that and has begun to resurrect his relationship with God and agreed to waiting until marriage for sex. I feel like we are a match.
In the month I’ve been in Los Angeles I’ve been surrounded by people passionate about their dreams, careers and futures. My father thought that I would graduate and teach school. My internship allows me to meet and work around people within my chosen profession.
I am growing, changing and being provided opportunities I would never have had at home. My twin is engaged, looking forward to buying a home and having babies. My father, who had reservations about me coming to California wants a similar life for me. I love my father, and we’re extremely close. Can you help find the words to explain that I want to continue on my current path with my values remaining unchanged?
Dear Daddy’s Girl,
What can I tell you that you don’t already know? Being a Daddy’s girl is not always easy for either party. Daddys don’t want to hand off their precious child to some Neanderthal who will destroy them, drag them away and ruin the bond between father and daughter. Nor does Daddy want his darling daughter struggling making her way through the cold hard world of reality without knowing what is going to happen to her. It is best to keep little girls close by where they can control and protect as much of her environment as possible.
As for Daddy’s girls, they don’t want to disappoint Daddy. Eager to please Daddy sensing that he may become hurt, angry or feel betrayed if his life script for his little girl is not followed.
You are 21-year-old woman. Your virginity and relationship with God does not negate the fact that you are an adult woman. As a woman, you are capable of decision making, understanding consequence of action, and entitled to set your life course. Just as you have set boundaries with your boyfriend regarding your spiritual and physical self, a conversation with your father can follow suit.
With your taking on an internship, more than halfway across the country, your father has taken the first step in accepting that you are making your own way. You are not the first child in the history of human kind to leave home and you won’t be the last. As far as being chaste, as an adult woman, have an adult conversation with your father. Let your love shine through, showing him the strong, intelligent, self-sufficient woman, he helped to mold.
In his heart, you will always be his little girl...and he gets to be the man that any man in your life is measured by.
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. - Jim Valvano
Any fool can be a Father, but it takes a real man to be a Daddy! – Philip Whitmore, Snr.